Coconut Jokes


What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation

What did the tornado say to the coconut tree?
Lift up your nuts its going to be one hell of a blow job!

Where do intergalatic coconuts grab a drink?
At the "Milky Way"

What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long?
Cocoa-Nuts.

What did one coconut say to the other?
Got milk?

Why did the coconut stop in the middle of the road?
Because he ran out of juice!

Whats the best part of a bikini made up of two coconut halves?
Coconut Milk!

What do you call a coconut that doesn't have milk?
A milk dud.

Why don't coconuts have money?
Because people milk them dry.

What is a coconut never guilty of?
Nuttiness.

Why didn't the coconuts go to the ballet?
They were afraid of the nutcracker.

My boyfriends such a smart ass, he told me onions are the only food that can make you cry.
So I threw a coconut at his face.

Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside.
It starts whith c, ends with t, and has a n in the middle.
What is it?
A coconut you sick minded bastard.

Money can't buy happiness. Just kidding yes it can, if that money is used to buy Pina Coladas.

$10,000

An married couple was cleaning out their closet after their 50th wedding anniversary.
After clearing out most of the junk, they found a shoe box with $10,000 and a coconut in it.
"Whats this?" the wife asked.
The husband replied, "Every time I cheated on you, I put a coconut in a shoe box."
"Well", said the wife. " I guess one coconut in 35 years isn't that bad. What's the money for?"
The husband admitted, "Everytime the box got full, I sold the coconuts."


Three Girls
Three girls named Marie, Alexis and Taylor were sailing in the Carribbean, when all of a storm capsized their boat.
The three barely make it out with their lives and wash up on a tiny isolated island.
The three girls see a hut in the forest and Marie and Alexis make their way to it.
A grungy old man raises a gun to their head and tells them to get a fruit, vegetable, whatever, just get something from the island.
Marie grabs a coconut, and Alexis grabs a starfish.
Just as they come back into the farmer's house, Taylor walks in.
He tells Taylor to do the same as they just did, and Taylor heads off to the forest.
While she's out in the forest, the farmer tells Marie and Alexis to shove whatever they have up their ass, and who ever laughs, dies.

Marie laughs first, so the farmer shoots her. Then Alexis laughs and she gets killed too.
So they are floating out of their bodies, and Alexis asks Marie why she died.
Marie said that the thought of sticking a starfish up your ass was just too funny.
Marie then asked Alexis why she laughed, Alexis said: "I saw Taylor coming around the corner with a pineapple!

Coconut Pick Up Lines

Hey, you have a lovely bunch of coconuts.

They say coconuts don't fall far from the tree, so that must mean your mom has big boobs too!

Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life

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