Cauliflower Jokes
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a daisy?
A: A colli-flower.
Q: Where do vegetables grow up?
A: Cauli-fornia.
Q: What did the husband do after forgetting his wife's birthday?
A: Cauliflower shop!
Q: What water yields the most beautiful cauliflower garden?
A: Perspiration!
Q: What is the difference between cauliflower and snot?
A: Children will eat their snot!
Q: What kind of socks do you need to plant cauliflower?
A: Garden hose!
Q. Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A. In the Gobi desert.
Q: What happened to the vegetable on the street corner?
A: She was arrested for being a Cauli-girl.
Q: Where did the cauliflower go to have a few drinks?
A: The Salad Bar!
Q: Did you hear about the vegetable prophet?
A: He was the Cauli-phate.
Two pieces of Cauliflower
One day two pieces of Cauliflower, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.
The uninjured cauliflower called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured cauliflower was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured cauliflower, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".
No Cauliflower
A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any cauliflower? "
The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of cauliflower, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the cauliflower is.
The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of cauliflower, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the cauliflower, I need some cauliflower right now!"
The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your cauliflower from the back."
The lady agrees and the man starts the questions.
"Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. "
The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuc, as in cauliflower. "
She replies "There is no Fuck in cauliflower?"
To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"
Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.
A banana stuck in one of his ears, a cauliflower in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."