Back to: Miscellaneous Jokes : Food Jokes
Q: How can you make a soup rich?
A: Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round it would want to pea!
Q: How do you kill a salad?
A: You go for the carrot-id artery.
Q: What did the carrot say to the vibrator?
A: "Why are you shaking? It’s me she’s going to eat!"
Q: Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.
Q: What's a Vegetable's favourite martial art?
A: Carrotee!
Q: How do you lead a horse to water?
A: With carrots
Q: Why did the carrot get an award?
A: Because he was out standing in his field
Q: Which vegetable betrayed Jesus?
A: Judas Is-carrot
Q: What did one snowman say to the other?
A: Does it smell like carrots?
Q: How do you make gold soup?
A: Put 24 carrots in it.
Q: Whats orange and smells of carrots?
A: Rabbit puke!
Q: Why did the Ukrainian turn his carrot around?
A: He wanted to start the orange revolution!
Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: It's been nice gnawing you.
Q: What's a vegetable's favourite casino game?
A: Baccarrot!
Q: What does the Carrot priest say at church?
A: "Lettuce Pray"
Q: What is invisible and smells like Carrots?
A: Bunny Farts!
Q: What's orange and never shuts up?
A: A carrot reading the bible!
Who's there?
Carrot
Carrot who?
Do you carrot all about me!
Two Carrots
One day two carrots, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.
The uninjured carrot called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured carrot was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured carrot, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".
Carrot, Pickle, & Penis
A carrot, a pickle and a penis were talking about their awful lives.
The carrot said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me.
The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar.
The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!
Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.
A banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."
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