Broccoli Jokes

What do you get when you cross broccoli and a vampire?
Count Broccula!

What do you know when people start calling you broccoli?
Your having a bad hair day.

What do you get when you cross a melon with broccoli?
A melon-coli snack.

What kind of socks do you need to plant broccoli?
Garden hose!

What's the difference between broccoli and snot?
Kids dont eat broccoli.

What do you call a scary movie about vegetables?
The Broccoli Horror Picture Show.

Where did the broccoli go to have a few drinks?
The Salad Bar!

Broccoli might get stuck in your teeth, but French Fries get stuck on your ass.

Broccoli: I look like a tree.
Walnut: I look like a brain.
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella.
Banana: Dude! Change the topic.

Two broccoli stems
One day two broccoli stems, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.

The uninjured broccoli stem called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured broccoli stem was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.

After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured broccoli stem, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."

"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.

A banana stuck in one of his ears, a broccoli stem in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

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