Did you hear about the guy who stopped eating vegetables?
His heart missed a beet.
What is the most untrustworthy veggie?
The beet around the bush.
What do you call someone who raps about vegetables?
A Beet boxer.
Did you hear about the vegetable that was acquitted of murder?
He beet the rap.
What do you call a veggie that is never late?
Beet the clock.
How do you get the party started?
With a fat beet.
Why did the veggie band sound horrible live?
They were missing a beet.
What do you get when you cross a farmer and some trendy headphones?
Beets by Dre.
Did you hear about the vegetable that lowers your blood pressure and increases your brain function?
You can't beet that.
What do you call a guy who doesn't like green veggies?
Someone who marches to a different beet.
What new crop did the farmer plant?
Let's have a garden party......Lettuce turnip the beet.
This beet is so fresh it has an aunty and uncle in Bel-Air.
One day two beets, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.
The uninjured beet called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured beet was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured beet, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".
A guy walks into the doctor's office.
A banana stuck in one of his ears, a asparagus stalk in the other ear, and a beet stuck in one nostril.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."