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Apple Short Jokes
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple !
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ?
She fell for the Big Apple !
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?
Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it down hill.
What kind of apple isn't an apple?
What did the apple say to the apple pie?
"You've got some crust."
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
Keeps everyone away.
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?
Worm your way out of that one, then!
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go in pairs !
How do you get the most apples at Halloween?
Take a snorkel.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader?
A bookworm !
What did the worm want to do when he grew up?
He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why?
The orchard's on fire.
What kind of apple has a short temper?
A crab apple.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
What is the left side of an apple?
The part that you don't eat.
How do you make an apple puff?
Chase it round the garden
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?
Puff pastry !
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
An outboard apple.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do?
It can look round.
First apple: You look down in the dumps. What's eating you?
Second apple: Worms, I think.
The first commandment was...
when Eve told Adam to eat the apple!
Apple Bar Jokes
School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
"What kind of pie do you call this ?" asked one schoolboy indignantly.
"What's it taste of ?" asked the cook.
"Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."
Once upon a time there were five apples
Which was the cowboy?
None - because they were all redskins.
An Apple A Day
Jake came rushing in to see his Dad.
"Dad!" he puffed, "is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"
"That's what they say," said his Dad.
"Well, give me an apple quick ? I've just broken the doctor's window!"
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