Q: What do you get when you cross a Fedex Driver and a UPS driver?
A: FED UP!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?
A: A terrified UPS man!
Q: Why should women be flattered if a UPS driver asks them out?
A: Because they prefer outgoing male!
Q: After UPS and FedEx merge what will be there new company name?
One Monday morning the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route.
As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night," the UPS man comments.
Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild." "Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I."
The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play WHO AM I?"
"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and with only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet.
Then the women try to guess who it is."
The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responded.
"Your name came up seven times..."
Buying A Horse
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs and rump, and chest..
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I am buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
Fedex Drivers Sue
Two Lebanese-American FedEx Ground drivers over $60 million by a jury in connection with a discrimination suit.
Edgar Rizkallah and Kamil Issa claimed that their manager regularly referred to them as "camel jockeys," "terrorists" and, most hurtful of all, as "UPS colored."