Taco Bell Short Jokes
What do Taco Bell and your period have in common?
They are both great, even late!
Why is Taco Bell removing the trans-fat from their menu?
Because they want the Chalupa to pad your ass without clogging your arteries!
Whats the differnce between Hillary Clinton and Taco Bell?
Bill Clinton has never eaten Hillary Clinton!
How did Taco Bell repudiate claims that their chickens are abused and tortured?
Our chickens are not abused and Waterboarding is not torture!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because there was a Taco Bell on the other side.
Why doesn't Taco Bell have a playground?
Because its hard to have fun when you might shit in your pants.
Why is Taco Bell debuting their $2 combo meal in San Diego?
Because it comes with bus ticket to Tijuana!
What did the stoner say when he had the best time of his life?
Taco about a good time.
What do you do after placing an order at Taco Bell?
Look the cashier dead in the eyes and say "Remember, we never had this conversation"
Taco Bell has begun a controversial ad campaign launching the Drive-Thru Diet, which claims that their food can help people lose weight.
In a related story, ultra light cigarettes give people clean lungs.
Save a bun, eat a taco.
"I hate tacos" said no Juan ever.
There was a taco and some nachos.
The nacho was sad so the taco said wanna taco about it and the nachos said nacho business.
Taco Bell Bar Jokes
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Taco Bell, the CEO calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The CEO says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread' to ‘Give us this day our daily burrito'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words."
So the CEO hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the CEO panics, and calls again.
"Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll give you $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread' to ‘Give us this day our daily burrito.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Mr. Glen Bell. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words."
So the CEO gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales the CEO gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread' to ‘Give us this day our daily burrito' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that Taco Bell is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
Yo Momma Taco Bell Jokes
Yo Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a Taco Bell Quesidilla.
Yo momma is so fat, her blood type is Taco Bell!
Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.
Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill
Yo Mama so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company!