Skoda Jokes

Short Ford Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a Skoda and a porcupine?
A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

Q: What's the difference between a Skoda and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.

Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Skoda's user's manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.

Q: What do you call a Skoda at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.

Q: What do you call two Skodas at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.

Q: What do you call a Skoda with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow

Q: What is the Skoda owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a real car.

Q: What do you call a Skoda with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.

Q: How do you double the value of a Skoda Yeti?
A: Fill the tank with petrol.

Q: What did the Ford say to the Skoda?
A: Would you like a tow home?

Q: What do you call a Skoda with 200,000 miles on it?
A: A lie.

Q: Why is this country so far in debt?
A: Because the president drives a Skoda.

Q: Why do they fit heated tail gates to luxury Skoda autos?
A: To keep your hands warm when you pushed them.

Q: Why do the new Skoda Kodiaqs have larger bumpers?
A: To make it easier on the tow trucks.

Q: Why did the cat sleep under the Skoda?
A: Because he wanted to wake up oily.

Q: Why are Skoda dealers giving away a dog with each Skoda sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To push he's Skoda Octavia back into the dealer's show room.

Q: Do you know why Skoda is making new heated bumpers?
A: So when your pushing it home in the winter your hands stay warm.

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: Because his Skoda Fabia got stuck.

Q: Why are the latest Skodas so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy tow truck's fuel consumption.

Q: What is the aim of a Skoda concept car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.

Q: What is the difference between a Skoda and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.

Q: How can they improve a Skoda Citigo?
A: Put a Toyota engine in it.

Q: What did the Toyota say to the Skoda on the side of the road?
A: Rust-in-peace.

Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Skodas?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.

Q: How do you make a Skoda go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.

Q: What's the difference between a golfball and a Skoda?
A: A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.

Why did the Skoda cross the road?
To pick up the bits it lost yesterday.

Q: What is the difference between a Skoda and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.

Q: What's the difference between a Skoda and a Jehovah's witness?
A: You can close the door on a Jehovah's witness!

Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A: Max speed - 60 km/h - Skodas do best you can.

Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So Skoda owners have a safe place to walk home.

Want to hear a car joke?
Skoda Yeti.

What should you do if you find three Skoda owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.

What's the difference between a Skoda owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent own a Skoda.

Skoda, Skoda, best in town, drive it once, your engines down

Skoda Mottos

"Speed kills. Drive a Ford and live forever!"

"That's not a leak. My Skoda's just marking it's territory."

"You might own a SKODA if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."

"I could never keep a Skoda under me, I was always under the Skoda."

"Friends don't let friends drive a Skoda."

"I'd rather push a Ford then drive a Skoda."

Skoda One Liners

Why do people name their kids Mercedes, Lexus, Porsche when they look like Opels & Skodas

If your Bentley is taking up 2 parking spaces, then okay. I get it. But a Skoda Yeti? I feel obligated to deflate your tires now.

Today 99% of Skodas are on the road the other 1% made it to the car shop.

You wanna man that drives a Lexus, but your dad drives a Skoda. Why you can't be humble like your mom?

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