Mazda Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a Mazda and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A: Max speed - 60 km/h - Mazdas do best you can.
Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So Mazda owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Mazdas?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.
Q: How do you make a Mazda go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.
Q: What is the difference between a Mazda and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
Q: Why are the latest Mazdas so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.
Q: Why Pokemon Go a lifesaver?
A: Because it gives Mazda owners something to do while they walk home.
Q: What is the aim of a Mazda project car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.
Q: What is the difference between a Mazda and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.
Q: Why are Mazda dealers giving away a dog with each Mazda sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
Q: How do you double the value of a Mazda Icon?
A: Full the tank with petrol.
Q: Why did the cat sleep under the Mazda?
A: Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Q: What's the difference between a golfball and a Mazda?
A: A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
Q: What did the Toyota say to the Mazda?
A: Would you like a towe home?
Q: What did the BMW say to the Mazda on the side of the road?
A: Rust-in-peace.
Q: What do you call a Mazda at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.
Q: What do you call two Mazdas at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
Q: What do you call a Mazda with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What is the Mazda owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Why did the Mazda cross the road?
To pick up the bits it lost yesterday.
Q: What do you call a Mazda with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.
Want to hear a car joke?
Mazda Miata.
What should you do if you find three Mazda owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.
How do you catch a Ford?
Ford-bait.
How do you catch a Mazda?
Mazda-bait.
What's the difference between a Mazda owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent own a Mazda.
Mazda Acronyms
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
Most Are Zealously Duped Always
Mazda Mottos
"Speed kills. Drive a Mazda and live forever!"
"That's not a leak. My Mazda's just marking it's territory."
"You might own a Mazda if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."
"I could never keep a Mazda under me, I was always under the Mazda."
"Friends don't let friends drive Mazdas."
Strongest Man
A guy walks into a biker bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest man in here?"
A tough looking guy goes over to him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my Mazda to the gas station?"
Car Shopping
A lady walks into a Mazda dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Mazda Miata and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."