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Q: What's the difference between a Mazda and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A: Max speed - 60 km/h - Mazdas do best you can.
Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So Mazda owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Mazdas?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.
Q: How do you make a Mazda go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.
Q: What is the difference between a Mazda and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
Q: Why are the latest Mazdas so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.
Q: What is the aim of a Mazda project car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.
Q: What is the difference between a Mazda and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.
Q: Why are Mazda dealers giving away a dog with each Mazda sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
Q: How do you double the value of a Mazda Icon?
A: Full the tank with petrol.
Q: What did the Toyota say to the Mazda?
A: Would you like a towe home?
Q: What do you call a Mazda at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.
Q: What do you call two Mazdas at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
Q: What do you call a Mazda with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What is the Mazda owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Q: What do you call a Mazda with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.
Mazda Acronyms
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
Most Are Zealously Duped Always
Mazda Mottos
"Speed kills. Drive a Mazda and live forever!"
"That's not a leak. My Mazda's just marking it's territory."
"You might own a Mazda if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."
"I could never keep a Mazda under me, I was always under the Mazda."
"Friends don't let friends drive Mazdas."
Strongest Man
A guy walks into a biker bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest man in here?"
A tough looking guy goes over to him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my Mazda to the gas station?"
Mazda Car Salesmen
Two Mazda car salesmen were sitting at the bar.
One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more Mazda's this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking Mazda!"
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