iPad Jokes

iPad download speeds

Michael: iPad download speeds on AT&T are ridicously slow!
Jon: Tell me about it, this morning I logged into "Just 18" porno website.
Jon: By the time the first page had loaded, all the girls looked like they were in their mid 40s.

iPad vs Samsung Galaxy

Three iPad engineers and three Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference. The Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers notice that the iPad engineers bought only one ticket between them.

The Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers ask the iPad engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. "Watch and learn," one of the iPad engineers tells them.

As soon as the train leaves the station, the three iPad engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says "ticket please!" The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor. The Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers are impressed, and decide that's what they will do on the trip back.

Then on the return trip, the Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers notice that the iPad engineers haven't bought any tickets. "How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?" they ask. "Watch and learn," one of the iPad engineers tells them.

As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Samsung Galaxy Tab engineers hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the iPad engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket please!"

iPad Bar Jokes
Walks Into a Starbucks

A man walks into a Starbucks with his iPad...
He suddenly realises he needs to fart.
He logs into Itunes and ups the volume thinking 'the music is loud no one will hear'
So he farts...
When he looks around, everyone's staring at him
Then he realises...
He was listening to his iPad with headphones.

iPad Short Jokes

Q: Why is the Apple still reporting record profits?
A: Because iPad users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them!

Q: How many Apple iPad early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!

Q: What's the difference between a Maxipad and an iPad?
A: One is small, lightweight and slim; and the other is bought by women who send their husbands to the Apple store

Q: What do the latest iPad applications do?
A: Whiten teeth and perform lasik eye surgery!

Q: According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphones overheating?
A: Downloading images of Brooklyn Decker!

Q: What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
A: A Macintosh

Q: What do tablets eat for dinner?
A: iPad Thai.

Q: What does a bull and iPad have in common?
A: They both charge!

Q: Where were all the genius bar specialists born?
A: In the United States of Binary (USB)

Q: What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
A: Your iPad will keep crashing!

Q: Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
A: Everyone at Apple are crying their i's out!

Q: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone?
A: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iCameBack, iThinkDifferent, iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, iPad, iCloud, iRIP

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die.

Siri's on her period. She needs an iPad.

Do not touch MY iPad. It's not an usPad, it's not a wePad, it's not an ourPad, it's an iPad.

I'm going to bed" means "Let me get on my iPad and look up pointless things for awhile.

My relationship is like an iPad. I don't have an iPad.

If Apple made a car, would it have windows?

My iPad screen is brighter than my future

I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me. Not my fault they don't have Windows.

My daughter just used "sext" in words with friends and now I'll be spending the rest of the night going through her phone and iPad!

Having an iPad makes everything better.

Yo mama so fat she invented the iPad Pro when she sat on the iPhone.

Yo mama so stupid she went to the Apple Store to get a big mac

I tried to log in on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch A Sketch and I don't own an iPad. Also, I'm out of vodka.

My iPad seems to be broke. I pressed the 'home' button but I'm still at school...

My iPad battery dies quicker than a black guy in a scary movie

I want an iPhone with BBM and a Nokia battery.

"It's being reported that Apple may be making a less-expensive version of their iPhone. They're calling it a Samsung." - Conan O'brien

Girl: iPhone
Boy: iPad
Wife:i Paid

iPad Pick Up Lines

Did you know my iPad is also a remote control? Lets go somewhere remote and you can have control.

I AM happy to see you but thats just an iPad in my pocket.

Is your dad a thief? Because if he is, Ill keep my new iPad hidden when you introduce him to me next Saturday.

I think I need to call Heaven on my new iPad because they lost one of their angels.

How much does your iPad weigh? Enough to break the ice.

Im no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock. Plus I have an iPad!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put u and iPad together.

Baby, if you were an iPad, I would tap you all day!

Joke Generators: