Short Ford Jokes
Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a porcupine?
A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
Q: What's the difference between a Ford and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Ford's user's manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.
Q: Why does the new Ford Escape parallel park itself?
A: Because white trash can only trailer park!
Q: What do you call a Ford at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.
Q: What do you call a Norwegian prostitute?
A: A Fjord Escort.
Q: What do you call two Fords at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
Q: What do you call a Ford with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What is the Ford owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Q: What do you call a Ford with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.
Q: How do you double the value of a Ford Icon?
A: Full the tank with petrol.
Q: What did the Toyota say to the Ford?
A: Would you like a towe home?
Q: What should the Ford Mustang really be called?
A: The Ford Rustang.
Q: What do you call a Ford with 200,000 miles on it?
A: A lie.
Q: Why is this country so far in debt?
A: Because the president drives a Ford.
Q: Why do they fit heated tail gates to luxury Ford bakkies?
A: To keep your hands warm when you pushed them.
Q: Why do the new FORD Explorers have larger bumpers?
A: To make it easier on the towe trucks.
Q: Why are FORD dealers giving away a dog with each FORD sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To push he's FORD F150 back into the dealer's show room.
Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: Because he's F150 got stuck.
Q: Why are the latest Fords so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.
Q: What is the aim of a Ford project car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.
Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.
Q: How can they improve a Ford bakkie?
A: Put a Toyota engine in it.
Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Fords?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.
Q: How do you make a Ford go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.
Q: What is the difference between a Ford and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A: Max speed - 60 km/h - Fords do best you can.
Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So FORD owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: Why does Ford make tractors and Opel not?
A: Because Opel can't get anything to run that slow.
Ford Bar Jokes
"Have you out-driven a Ford lately?"
"Speed kills. Drive a Ford and live forever!"
"That's not a leak. My Ford's just marking it's territory."
"You might own a FORD if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."
"I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford."
"Friends don't let friends drive Fords."
"I'd rather push a BMW then drive a Ford."
"Ford Escort me to a Toyota dealer."
Ford One Liners
Why do people name their kids Mercedes, Lexus, Porsche when they look like buicks & fords
If your Bentley is taking up 2 parking spaces, then okay. I get it. But a Ford Focus? I feel obligated to deflate your tires now.
So you're in high school and you drive a Ford Mustang? You must know all about hard work then.
Today 99% of Fords are on the road the other 1% made it to the car shop.
I would give both my testies for a Ford Mustang.
You wanna man that drives a Lexus, but your dad drives a Ford. Why you can't be humble like your mom?
Henry Ford Goes to Heaven
Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven.
At the gate, St Peter tells Henry Ford: "Well, you've been such a good guy, invented the car, changed the world. As a reward you can hang out with anybody in Heaven of your choice."
So Henry Ford thinks about it and says: "I would like to hang out with God himself?"
So St Peter takes him directly to God's thrown and Henry Ford starts by saying: "God, I don't want to sound biased, but you have some major design flaws in Your invention, the Woman.
1. There's too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much
4. The intake is too close to the exhaust."
"HMMMM" says God and goes over to the Celestial Super Computer, types in a few key strokes, and waits for the results.
He then turns to Henry Ford and says; "It may be that My invention is flawed, but according to the stellar computer more men are riding My invention then your's".
First On Rubbish Dump
Factory Ordered Road Disasters
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Roadside Dead
Flip Over Read Directions
Found On Road Deserted
Forget Out Running Danie
Flipped On Reverse Detonator
F.cked On Race Day
Four Old Rusted Doors
Freaking Old Rusted Datsin
Ford Owners Recommend Daywoo
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Ford Owner Really Dumb
Fixed On Race Day
For Only Retarded Drivers
Freaking Only Runs Downhill
Failure On Research & Development