Enron Jokes
What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?
The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
What's the difference between Enron stock and toilet paper?
Nothing.
Why do Enron executives smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them too.
What's the difference between the Enron Complex (Headquarters) and a cactus?
The cactus has its pricks on the outside.
What does it say on the back of every Enron stock certificate?
Will Work For Food.
What is the difference between a bucket of shit and an Enron executive?
The bucket.
What is the difference between Slumdog Millionaire and Slimeball Millionaire
Slimeball Millionaire is a movie about Kenneth Lay.
What should you do if you find three Enron executives buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.
What's the difference between an Enron executive and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Why did the Enron executive cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent had Enron stock.
What is Kenneth Lay's favorite Disney movie?
The Lying King.
Investment Advice
If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel
stock years ago, it would now be worth $16.00.
With Enron, you would have $12.50 of the original $1,000.00 invested a year before bankruptcy..
With WorldCom, you would have less than $4.00 left.
If you invested $1000.00 with Bernie Madoff you would have $0
If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser
(the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the
cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $215.00.
Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and
recycle.