Alfa Romeo Jokes
Short Alfa Romeo Jokes
Q: How many Alfa Romeo car salesmen does it take to change your light bulb?
A: It depends on your credit, current lease terms, and willingness to take a balloon payment!
Q: What is the difference between a Alfa Romeo and a porcupine?
A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
Q: What is the Alfa Romeo owner's most ardent wish?
A: A bigger penis.
Q: What should you do if you find three Alfa Romeo owners buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Want to hear a car joke?
Alfa Romeo Giulia.
What should you do if you find three Alfa Romeo owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.
Why don't blonde's like Alfa Romeos?
Because they can't spell it.
What's the difference between a Alfa Romeo owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Alfa Romeo owners.
There are two reasons I don't take my girlfriend on longs drives in my Alfa Romeo 4C Spider.
One I don't have a girlfriend.
Two I don't have a Alfa Romeo 4C Spider.
Alfa Romeo One Liners
So you're in high school and you drive a Alfa Romeo? You must know all about hard work then.
I would give both my testies for a new Alfa Romeo 4C Spider.
If you see someone driving a Alfa Romeo, stay away! Research shows that BMW drivers are the rudest on the road.
You wanna man that drives a Alfa Romeo 4C Coupe, but your dad drives a Toyota. Why you can't be humble like your mom?
I just saw a Alfa Romeo driver using his indicators correctly on the motorway. Twice. Should I report the vehicle as stolen?
A girl who swallows is like owning a Alfa Romeo, You don't need it, but it's nice to have.
Car Shopping
A lady walks into a Alfa Romeo dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line 4C Spider and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."
Mid Life Crisis
A man in his 40's bought a new Alfa Romeo 4C Spider and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Alfa Romeo," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 120.... then the reality of the situation hit him.
"What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer
Materialistic Lawyer
A lawyer opened the door of his Alfa Romeo 4C Coupe, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious Alfa Romeo.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Alfa Romeooooo!!!", he whiningly said.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid Alfa Romeo, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?