When using a public restroom, you wash your hands
with soap for a full minute
and turn off the faucets
with your elbows.
When
you tell a man you meet for the first time you're a nurse, you're expected
to laugh hysterically when he asks you for a sponge bath,
as if it was the most
original and wittiest thing you've
ever heard.
Your
favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient's bedside
and tell a doctor to clean it up.
Men assume you must be
great in bed because of the 9 billion porn movies about
nurses.
Everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about
each and every ache and
pain they have.
You want to put your foot
through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a
soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and
flirting with doctors.
You can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.
You can watch the
goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spaghetti with
lots of tomato sauce.
You use a plastic 30cc medicine cup for a shotglass.