TESTICLES Joke
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but
as he got
older he was increasingly hampered by terrible
headaches.
When his personal hygiene and love life
started to suffer,
he sought medical help.
After being referred from one
specialist to another, he finally
came across a doctor
who solved the problem. "The good news is
I can cure
your headaches. The bad news is that it will require
castration. You have a very rare condition which causes
your
testicles to press up against the base of your
spine. The
pressure creates one hell of a headache. The
only way to relieve
the pressure is to remove the
testicles."
Joe was shocked and
depressed. He wondered if he had anything
to live for.
He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but
decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, his
mind was clear, but he felt like
he was missing an
important part of himself. As he walked down
the street,
he realized that he felt like a different person. He
could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He walked past a men's clothing
store and thought, "That's what
I need, a new suit." He
entered the shop and told the salesman,
"I'd like a new
suit."
The salesman eyed him
briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the suit. It fit
perfectly. As Joe admired himself
in the mirror, the
salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe and said,
"Let's see,... 34 sleeve and...
16 and a half neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right,
how did you know?"
"It's my
job."
Joe tried on the shirt,
and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted
the collar in the
mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe's feet and
said, "Let's see...9 and a half wide."
Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the shoes and they
fit perfectly. Joe walked
comfortably around the shop
and the salesman asked, "How about
a new hat?"
Without hesitating, Joe said,
"Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe's
head and said, "Let's see. . . 7 5/8."
Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
The hat fit perfectly. Joe was
feeling great, when the salesman
asked, "How about some
new underwear?"
Joe thought for
a second and said, "Sure!"
The
salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...
size 36."
Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years
old."
The salesman shook his
head and said, "You can't wear a size 34
It would press
your testicles up against the base of your spine
and
give you one hell of a headache!"