The Lawyer And The Old Lady Joke
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the
receptionist she
wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The
receptionist
suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the
spinster
to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all
my life, I
rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible
for the
lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to
the
spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The
lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you
have in
assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your
will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see
here, I have
$40,000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the
$40,000 to be
distributed?"
The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a
reclusive life,
people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when
I pass
on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to
have a funeral
that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression
on anyone
who may not have taken much note of you! But tell me," he
continued, "what
would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've
lived alone
almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man.
Before I
die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep
with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding,
"but I'll see
what I can do to arrange it and get back to you." That evening,
the lawyer
was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her
weird
request. After thinking about how much she could do around the house
with
$5,000, and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to
provide
the service himself.
She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in
the car until
you're finished." The next morning, she drove him to the
spinster's house
and waited while he went into the house. She waited for over an
hour, but
her husband didn't come out. So she blew the car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his
head out
and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow! She's going to let the County
bury her!"