If Dr. Seuss had been President Clinton's Lawyer Joke
If Dr. Seuss had been President Clinton's Lawyer
his deposition might have
might have read something like this:
I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar
I did not do it in the
dark
I did not do it in the
park
I did not do it on a date
I did not ever fornicate
I did not do it at a
dance
I did not do it in her
pants
I did not get beyond
first base
I did not do it in her
face
I never did it in a bed
If you think that, you've
been misled
I did not do it with a
groan
I did not do it on the
phone
I did not cause her dress
to stain
While talking to Saddam
Hussein
I did not do it with a
whip
I did not fondle Linda
Tripp
I never acted really
silly
With volunteers like
Kathleen Willey
There was one time,with
Margaret Thatcher
I chased her round, but
could not catch her
No kinky stuff, not on
your life
I would not, could not,
with my wife
Now, that Miss Flowers'
tale of woes
Was paid for by my
right-wing foes
And Paula Jones, and
those State Troopers
Are just a bunch of party
poopers
I did not ask my friends
to lie
And then just hang them
out to dry
I did not do it last
November
And if I did, I don't
remember
I did not do it in the
hall,
I could have, but I don't
recall
There was no sex at
Arlington
There was no sex on Air
Force One
I might have copped a
little feel
And then endeavored to
conceal
But never did these
things so lewd
At least not ever in the
nude
These things to which I
have confessed
They do not count if we
stayed dressed.
I never used that big
cigar
You must believe me, Mr.
Starr.
I did not know this
little sin
Would be retold on CNN.
I broke some rules my
mama taught me
I tried to hide, but now
you've caught me.
But I implore, I do
beseech
Do not condemn, Do not
impeach.
I might have got a little
tail
But never, ever did
inhale.