School Answering Machine Joke
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of
your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member,
please listen
to all the options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent--Press 1.
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work--Press 2.
To complain about what we do--Press 3.
To cuss out staff members--Press 4.
To ask why you didn't get needed information that was already
enclosed in your newsletter and
several bulletins mailed to you--Press 5.
If you want us to raise your child--Press 6.
If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone--Press 7.
To request another teacher for the third time this year--Press 8.
To complain about bus transportation--Press 9.
To complain about school lunches--Press 0.
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work,
homework, and
that it is NOT the teacher's fault for your children's lack of
effort-HANG UP