"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen
to all the options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent--Press 1.
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work--Press 2.
To complain about what we do--Press 3.
To cuss out staff members--Press 4.
To ask why you didn't get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you--Press 5.
If you want us to raise your child--Press 6.
If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone--Press 7.
To request another teacher for the third time this year--Press 8.
To complain about bus transportation--Press 9.
To complain about school lunches--Press 0.
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and
that it is NOT the teacher's fault for your children's lack of effort-HANG UP