Q: In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?
A: When it graduates from med school.
Q: What's the definition of a queer Jew?
A: Someone that likes girls more than money.
Q: Why were gentiles invented?
A: Somebody has to pay retail.
Q: Why do Jewish man have to be circumcised?
A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it's 10% off
Q. What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision?
A. In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.
Q: Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?
A: They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!
Q: What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?
A: Genghis Cohen.
Q: Define: Genius
A: A "C" student with a Jewish mother.
Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world.
They have some cut off before they even know how big it will get.
Q: Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel?
A: It’s called "Cheeses of Nazareth".
Q: What is the proper blessing to recite before logging on to the Internet?
A: "Modem anachnu loch..."
Q: If a doctor carries a black leather bag and a plumber carries a box of
tools, what does a mohel carry?
A: A bris kit.
Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
A: Fillet minyan.
Q: What kind of cheese melts on a piece of matza to make a passover pizza?
A: Matzarello
Q: Where does Moshe hide money from his wife Sadie?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Mother cash machine?
A: When you take out some money, it says to you, what did you do with
the last $50 I gave you?"
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