An
Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening
ceremonies of the Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the
gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with
a stern refusal.
While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon
construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he
presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and
was admitted.
The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up
with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish,
the hammer." He was also admitted.
The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he
spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at
the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."