"Broadway producers are saying that
because of the war, musicals are suffering from weak ticket sales. Not only
that, over at 'Les Miserables,' the French are refusing to take part in the
revolution." -Conan O'Brien
"A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. In Washington, the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' Nothing like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed to 'commie sauce.'" -Conan O'Brien
"You know why the French don't want to
bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a
beret. He is French, people." -Conan O'Brien