You Know Your Chinese If Jokes

You're amused when Americans think Chinese fast food is good.

You feel awkward when someone asks you to leave your shoes on in their house.

You kiss up to relatives when it comes close to new year.

You have instant noodles in your house.

You can't go more that five days without rice.

You have a 40lb. bag of rice in your pantry.

You drive mostly Japanese cars.

You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.

At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say. . . "

Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.

You like $1.75 movies.

You like $1.50 movies even more.

You buy soy sauce by the gallon.

Your parents ask your teachers to give you more homework.

You'll forward this to all your Asian friends.

You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.

Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you're sick.

You were told you all look alike.

You never made the school football or basketball team.

Your friends and everybody else assume you know Kung Fu.

You have two middle initials instead of one.

You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurant.

You buy rice in 50 pound sacks.

You have a piano in the living room.

You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

You always drink tea after a meal.

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