You Might Be Canadian If Jokes
You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the
elderly."
You hum David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.
You know that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) don't always look like that.
You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme.
You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "what's good enough protection for the Prime Minister, is good enough for me!"
You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean.
You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
You had a crush on Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi Junior High.
You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).
You substitute beer for water when cooking.
You recognize: CPP, RSP, and CCM.
You know what "Canuba" is. You think it's pretty damn funny.
You pity people who haven't tasted a "beavertail".
Your Saturday nights in the Atlantic provinces include eating beans and brown bread as you watch Hockey Night in Canada.
You know that the Canadian Alliance is just the Reform Party with better hair.
You wonder why Esther Canadas has been blessed with both beauty and the coolest name on the planet -- although Canuck cutie Shalom Harlow could wipe the floor with her.
You're such a hardcore Canadian punk you used ketchup-flavoured potato chip 'residue' to dye your hair. You know it's kind of gross, but at least you smell good.
You don't consider a date truly romantic until you've slow danced to Blue Rodeo's "Five Days in May". You accept "Lost Together" as a second option.
You brag to Americans: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & more, are Canadians.
You know that the four seasons means: winter, still winter, almost winter, and road work/construction.
You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan"
You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."
You've ever had your tongue frozen to something.
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You find -40C a little chilly.
You can play road hockey on skates.
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.