To: All Law Enforcement Personnel Joke

From: Chief of Police

Recently, our department has received numerous complaints stating
that there have been many suspects that did not understand their Miranda
Rights that were read to them in the standard English text. We feel that
this may be due to the language barrier between the use of English and the
use of Ebonics. Effective immediately, suspects will be asked if they would
prefer their rights read to them in English or Ebonics. For Ebonics, the
rights and introduction, will be read as follows:

Yo, mutherfucker, 5-0 dun busted yo fucking ass fo (insert
appropriate crime/s). Before we starts rappin, I needs to make sure we cool
a few thangs.

1. If you don't wants to say shit, you ain't gots to say shit.

2. If you choose to open yo fucking mouth, any shit you says, the man gonna
use to bust yo ass when you is on the bench.

3. You allowed to have a suit wit ya before we raps and on the bench. If you
ain't gots the bread fo a suit, wee's gonna give ya one so's you gots him to
tell the man yo side of the story and you aint got's to pay fo it.

4. If we starts rappin and you thinks 5-0 be dissin yo ass, 5-0 gots ta stop

5. We cool bro.

After you have advised the suspect of his rights, have them
acknowledge it on the new ebonics suspect rights acknowledgement form
attached. THE CHIEF

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