Rabbi Counselor
A Modern
Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets
their rabbi for counseling.
The rabbi asks the couple if they have any last questions before
they leave. The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for
men to dance with men and women to dance with women at the
reception, but we'd like to ask you permission to dance
together."
"Absolutely not," warns the rabbi, "It's immodest.
Men and women in this ceremony always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own
wife?"
"No," says the Rabbi, "It's absolutely
forbidden."
"Well, okay," says the man, "but what about sex? Can
we finally have sex?"
"Of course," says the rabbi, sex is a good thing within
marriage in order to have children."
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," say the rabbi, "it's a good
thing."
"Doggy style?"
"Sure," says the rabbi, "no problem at all."
"On the kitchen table?"
"Absolutely."
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil and a
porno film?"
"Enjoy," smiles the rabbi.
"Can we do it standing up?"
"Absolutely not," admonishes the alarmed rabbi.
"Could lead to dancing."
By Nigel P
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