German Air Control Joke
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are
a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to
know one's gate parking location but how to get there
without any assistance from them.
So it was with some amusement that we (a PanAm 747)
listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt
ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign
"Speed bird 206") after landing:
Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt.
Speed bird 206, clear of the active runway."
Ground: "Guten morgen! You will taxi to your gate!"
The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxi
way and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speed bird, do you not know where you are
going?"
Speed bird 206: "Stand by a moment ground. I'm looking
up our gate location now."
Ground: With some arrogant impatience, "Speed bird 206,
have you never flown to Frankfurt before?!"
Speed bird 206 (cooly): "Yes, I have, in 1944... But
in another type of Boeing... I didn't stop."
________________________________________
Flight
Engineer
I was a Pan Am 552 Flight Engineer waiting for start
clearance in Munich, Germany. I was listening to
the radio since I was the junior crew member. This
was the conversation I overheard (I don't recall call
signs any longer):
Lufthansa: (In German) "Ground, what is our start
clearance time?"
Ground: (In English) "If you want an answer you must
speak English."
Lufthansa: (In English) "I am a German, flying a
German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak
English?"
Beautiful English Accent: (before ground could
answer) "Because you lost the bloody war!"