Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.
Q: What is loud and obnoxious?
A: A woman.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Q: How is a woman like an airplane?
A: Both have cockpits.
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A $100 bill.
How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Let her do the dishes in the dark.
What do toys and womens breasts have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with
What is love?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.
Monkeys and girls both are same. they fight only for Banana,
Boys and rats are same they search only holes.
Q: What do you call a girl with Pms and Esp?
A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything.
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
What is the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years your job still sucks.
Why did God create lesbians?
So feminists couldn't breed.
Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Q. Why do women talk so much?
A. Because they have two sets of lips.
What's the difference between your bonus and your dick?
You don't have to beg a woman to blow your bonus.
Why is a woman like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $4.99 a minute.
Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
What is the difference between a cheap hooker and an elephant?
One rolls on its back for peanuts and the other one lives in a zoo.
What s worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won't do as she's told.
Q: Why don't women wear watches?
A: There's a clock on the stove.
How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
Give the bitch a shovel
Q: What is the difference between a Woman and a washing machine?
A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!
Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon behind her ear, and she can't find her cigarette.
Why are wives like condoms?
They both spend too much time in your wallet, and not enough time on the end of your dick.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
How many men does it take to fix a vacuum cleaner?
Why the hell should we fix it? We don't use the damn thing.
Why do women love orgasms?
Because it gives them another reason to moan!!!
Q: Why did God create the yeast infection?
A: So women could know what it's like living with an irritating cunt too.
What is a wife?
An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
How are women like parking spaces?
The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Why do women have tits?
So men will talk to them.
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Cause if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
Q: What's the first thing a woman does after coming out of the abuse shelter?
A: Cook dinner if she knows what's good for her.
What's the difference between a Woman with PMS and a Pit Bull?
Lipstick
What do girls and camels have in common?
They both have camel toes.
Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man having a good time.
Why is our salary like a women’s period?
It comes once in a month,lasts only for four or five days and if any month it does not come it means your fucked.
Q: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year?
A: They don't fucking listen.
Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
Women are like orange juice cartons,
It’s not the shape or size or even how sweet the juice is,
It’s getting thoses fuckin flaps open
Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares - what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway?
What does the woman who just got out of an abusive relationship do?
It better be the damn dishes!
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