Transvestite Jokes

• Disclaimer •
Reader discretion advised. Please do not read
on if you are under 16 and/or easily offended. These jokes are NOT meant to encourage bigotry.

Q: What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
A: Male fraud.

Q: When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting.
A: When he wants to fit in your clothes!

Q: What's worst than having a husband with a fashion sense?
A: Physically knowing he looks better in your clothes than you!

Q: Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
A: To see how the other side felt!

Q: How do you know your husband is a transvestite?
A: When he wants to eat, drink and be Mary!

Q: What's the best part of punching a transvestite in the face?
A: You get the pleasure of punching a woman but with none of the guilt!

Q: What's the best thing about shagging a transvestite?
A: When you reach round, it feels like it's gone all the way through!

Q: What do you the documentary about Rupaul?
A: How to Train Your Drag Queen.

What's the difference between a former serviceman and a transexual?
One is prior service, the other is prior cervix.

Q: What is Caitlyn Jenners favorite Aerosmith song?
A: Dude Is Now a Lady.

Q: Why is Christmas Bruce Jenner's favorite holiday?
A: Because he likes to Eat, Drink, and be Mary.

Q: Did you see the action movie with Caitlyn Jenner?
A: It's called "Men in Black Lingerie."

Q: What's worst then picking up a hot blonde at the bar and having erection problems?
A: She has one!

Q: What do you call locomotive Engineer after he's had a sex change operation?
A: Choo choo trans.

Q: What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
A: A tran-sister.

Q: What do you call a transvestite country cover band?
A: Dixie Chicks with Dicks.

Q: How do you know your at a restaurant in San Francisco?
A: There's condom machines in both restrooms!

Q: What did the Tranny tell the women?
A: It takes balls to be a transvestite!

My gender is pizza, because everybody wants a slice of me.

A lot of bored housewives are sitting at home thinking I wish I had the balls to be transgendered.

It takes balls to be a transvestite!

I need
"Mom, I need to ask you for something?"
"Sure! What about?" replied mother.
"Well, I'm already fourteen and.. I think it's just proper that I should own one."
"Own 'one' what?" mother asked suspiciously.
"Could you buy me a push up bra?"
"But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."
"I think it would be just proper at my age..."
"I said no way...!"
"But all of my friends wear!"
"Johnny! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls?"

Three Englishmen
Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irish man.

One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy."

"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."

Puzzled, the Englishmen walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn't care!"

"You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn." The second Englishmen walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. "I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!"

"Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you."

Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. "You're right, he is unshakable!"

The third Englishmen said: "No, no, no, I will really piss him off, you just watch." The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said…"I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!"

"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."

Little Girl
When I was just a little girl,
I put on a flower dress and went to my mum
I asked my mother: "What will I be?
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?"
Here's what she said to me:
"You're a boy, you daft cunt. Now get out of your sister's clothes and go to fucking school!"

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