It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar.
I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how’d you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?”
Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy!
I couldn’t help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots.
It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream “Oh Henry, Oh Henry!”
Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way.
She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, “Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff.” I said, “Look you little Reese’s Pieces, don’t be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don’t you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit ’O’ Honey?”
(What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!)
She screamed, “Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!” as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup.
Well, I was giving it to her Good ’N’ Plenty, when all the sudden... my Starburst!
Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach.
Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Baby Ruth!
Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar was invented in 1900.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups was invented 1923.
Butterfinger was invented in 1923.
Snickers Bar was invented in 1930.
3 Musketeers Bar was invented in 1932.
Kit Kat was invented 1933.
Nestle's Crunch was invented 1938
M&M's were invented in 1940.
Kandy Kake (original name of Baby Ruth) invented in 1920's
The Three Musketeers bar was introduced in 1932.
The original 3 Musketeers had 3 bars in one wrapper, each with a different flavor.
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