Why did God create orgasms?
So women can moan even when they're happy.
Do you know why women fake orgasms?
Because men fake foreplay.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.
Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.
Sex in a boat = Oargasms
Sex with a nerd = Dorkgasms
Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms
Sex on the carpet or linoleum = Floorgasms
Sex at the supermarket = Storegasms
Sex at a Stephen King movie = Horrorgasms
Sex with a prostitute = Whoregasms
Sex with an accountant = Boregasms
Sex while sleeping = Snoregasms
Sex with Arthur = Dudley Mooregasms
Sex while broke = Poorgasms
Sex with a lion = Roargasms
Sex for hours and hours on end = Soregasms
Sex on a golf course = Foregasms
Sex with a nymphomaniac = Ready for Moregasms
Sex in a gold mine = Oregasms
Sex with the vice president = Al Goregasms
Sex with a masked man carrying a sword = Zorogasms
Sex on the beach = Shoregasms
Sex when you get an award = Honorgasms
Sex at an all you can eat buffet = Smorgasbordgasms
Sex among the wonders of the world = Outdoorgasms
Sex in the vicinity of garbage can = Odorgasms
Sex on the way to the train = All aboardgasms
Sex that isn't very satisfying = There's the doorgasms
Sex during hay fever season = Sporegasms
Sex in an adult theater = Hardcoregasms
Sex with conquering Spaniards = Conquistadorgasms
Sex with someone not paying attention = Ignorgasms
Sex with a competitive partner = Scoregasms
Sex with a cookie = Oreogasms
Sex with a bugle player = Horngasms
Sex with a beloved partner = Adoregasms
Sex while sightseeing = Tourgasms
Sex with a big dog = Labradorgasms
Sex with Beavs and Butthead = Gonnascoregasms
Sex during an earthquake = Tremorgasms
Sex on farm implements = Tractorgasms
Sex with Thomas Edison = Inventorgasms
Sex with a possessive partner = Yourgasms
Sex with Frankenstein's assistant = Igorgasms
Sex with three of your friends = Fourgasms
Sex with a Norse God = Thorgasms
Sex without a climax = Nogasms
A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class.
The subject of the day is involuntary muscles.
The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm.
"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..."
A man boards and airplane and sits next to an attractive woman. After a couple of minutes, the woman sneezes, and rather than wipe her nose with her tissue, she instead reaches between her legs and wipes her vagina.
The man is initially too embarrassed to say anything, but after the third time witnessing this, he quietly leans over and asks, "Is everything alright?"
The woman looks at him at says, "I'm sorry, but I have a rare condition that whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
"Whoa!" the man exclaims, "That's pretty serious. What do you take for it?"
The woman replies, "Pepper."