Q: What did the midget say when I asked him for a dollar?
A: "Sorry, I'm a little short"
Q: Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?
A: The grass tickles their balls!
Q: What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
A: One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt.
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice
Q: Why can't midgets wear tampons?
A: Because they keep stepping on the string!
Q: What do you get when you cross a midget with a computer?
A: A short circuit.
Q: What do you get if you cross a gay midget with Dracula?
A: Cocksucker!
Q: Why did the man seek counseling after finger banging a midget?
A: He never thought he'd stoop so low.
Q: What do you get when you cross a midget with a prostitute?
A: A little fucker about so tall.
Q: Why don't midgets need a wall to play handball?
A: They just use the curb!
Q: Why are gay midgets so appealing?
A: They can suck a dick standing up!
Q: What bank do midgets use?
A: The Piggy Bank!
Q: What does a midget model do?
A: Pose for trophies!
Q: Why don't people ask midgets for favors?
A: Because they have short term memories!
Q: What did the man say to his midget waiter?
A: No No No I said I wanted shrimp for dinner!
Q: Did you hear about the midget that overdosed on Viagra?
A: He's a little stiff now!
I rear ended a midget with my car today.
He got out and said "I am not happy";
Then I said, well than which dwarf are you?
My wife walked in on me having sex with a Midget, she started screaming at me
Telling me how I promised to stop cheating
So I looked down and said look honey, I cuting down!
Fortune Teller
Leona had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a midget.
The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune telling was fraudulent.
They had Leona arrested.
She was placed in a holding cell.
Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and escape.
This so incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an article about the culprit.
The following was printed in the paper the next day:
"Small medium at large
At A Party
A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment.
"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."
"Just take off your clothes, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.
"If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk,
"Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"
Sexual Harassment
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the
coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks: "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Doug. The midget!
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