Menopause Jokes

Q: How does a husband predict the mood of his menopausal wife?
A: Assume her mood is lousy, and occassionaly he'll be wrong.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a woman in menopause?
A: Lipstick

Q: What's 10 times worse than a woman in menopause?
A: Two women in menopause.

Q: Which is scarier, a puppy or a rational woman in menopause?
A puppy, because a rational woman in menopause doesn't really exist.

Q: What's the quickest way for a man to end up sleeping on the couch?
A: Forgetting to erase his internet history after reading menopause jokes!

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy.

Q: Why do women stop bleeding when entering menopause?
A: Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins.

Q: What problems with women start with "Men?
A: Menstruation, Menopause, & Mental breakdowns.

Q: Why should menopausal women use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Why don't menopausal women ask how their husbands are doing?
A: They don't care!

Women on their periods always ovary act.

Proof Shop
One day an old woman going through menopause walked into a shop and got some dog food, she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can't buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog.
So she brought in her dog and she got the dog food.

The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said you can't have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat.
So she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food.

Next day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did.
She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you're satisfied can I have some toilet paper please!

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