Q: What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A: Well hung.
Q: what do you call two lesbians floating down a river
A: Fur Traders
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Q: Whats the difference between a lesbian driving in the fog and eating pussy?
A: When u are eating pussy you can still see the asshole in front of you!
Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
A: "I'll see you next month."
Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men.
Q: Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres died?
A: They found her face down in Ricki Lake.
The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently HD was the wrong answer.
Q: What do you call lesbian twins?
Q: What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?
A: A new carpet to munch on.
Q: Why is did the lesbian build a shelf?
A: To hold her shoulders.
Q: Do you know why lesbians don't diet?
A: Because you can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face.
Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D
Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience
Q: Why don't fem lesbians go on dates?
A: Because it's hard to eat Jenny Craig when you've got Mary Kay on your face.
Q: What is the most common allergen amongst lesbians?
Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee?
A: It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.
Q: What's the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker?
A: One's a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian?
Q: What's the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?
A: What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar?
Q: What do you call a lesbian's closet?
A: A lick-her cabinet.
Q: Where can you find a penis on a lesbian?
A: Maybe you should ask Dick van Dyke.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with 100 semiautomatic rifles?
A: Militia Etheridge.
Q: Did anybody hear about that new cough medicine for lesbians?
Q: What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
A: A Licker cabinet
Q: What do lesbians call viagra?
Q: What card game do lesbians play?
Q: What do you call a horny lesbian dinosaur?
A: A clitosaurus
Q: why did the lesbian refuse to give her girlfriend a high five?
A: she wanted to preserve her palm.
Q: To be legally married, a male and female need a marriage license. What do two lesbians need?
A: A Licker-license!
Q: What does a lesbian want for christmas more than anything else?
A: a brand new carpet to munch on.
Q: What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
Q: Why are lesbians lousy construction workers?
A: They don't know how to handle wood.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
Q: What do you call two lesbians on their period?
A: Finger Painting
Q: What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
Q: Why can't lesbians go on a diet and wear lipstick at the same time?
A: You can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face!
Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
A: Toys for Twats
Q: Did you here about the two lesbians that built a house?
A: It was all tongue and groove and not a stud in sight.
Q: What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?
A: A bush hog
Q: What do you call a 100 pound lesbian?
A: A weedeater
Q: What did one lesbian say to another?
A: "Your face or mine?"
Q: Do you know why oysters increase lesbian sexual libido?
A: Because after eating a dozen oysters, pussy doesn't taste so bad!
Q: Why do lesbians shave there vaginas?
A: So they don't start a fire grinding.
Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like?
A: Tongue in cheek.
Q: Did you know that 33% of people think that they're bisexual?
A: It's like you are or your aren't, you cant have it both ways.
Q: What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?
A: Ones a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker!
Q: What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
A: two can chew!
Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: 3 blind lesbians in a fish market.
Q: How can you tell you're in a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table has no balls.
Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
A: Someone has to mow the yard.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semiautomatic rifles?
A: Militia etheridge
Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?
A: You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: a Lickalotapus
Q: why do lesbians suck at cooking?
A: they always eat out
Q: What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A: A crack in the ceiling.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: What is the difference between a Wheat Thin and a lesbian?
A: One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, "Why, it's immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?"
The woman responds, "I have a woman in twice a week."