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Ginger Jokes


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Q: Whats the difference between a ginger and a brick?
A: At least a brick gets laid.

Q: How does every Redhead joke begin?
A: By looking over your shoulder!

Q: What do you call a gay Ginger?
A: Flaming.

Q: What's the difference between a ginger and a vampire?
A: One is a pale, bloodsucking creature that avoids the sun. The other is a vampire.

Q: Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc?
A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!

Q: How many Ginger people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They prefer to sit in the dark.

Q: What do redheads and McDonald's have in common?
A: You've never had it so good and so fast.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Jamaican and a ginger?
A: A gingerbreadmon

Q: What do you call it when a redhead goes off the deepend?
A: a ginger snap.

Q: What do gingers look forward to later on in life?
A: Grey Hair

Q: What do you call a redheaded ninja?
A: a ginga

Q: What's the difference between ginger pussy and a bowling ball?
A: You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.

Q: Why are ginger kids lucky?
A: They get their own room when they stay at Michael Jackson's house

Q: How can two redheads become invisible in a crowd of three?
A: When they're with a blonde.

Q: Why do redheads take the pill?
A: Wishful thinking.

Q: What do you call a redhead with an attitude?
A: Normal.

Q: What's shorter than an Asian's dick?
A: a Ginger's temper.

Q: What book will never make a woman wet?
A: 50 Shades of Ginger.

Q: Whatís the fastest way to a manís heart if youíre a redhead?
A: Through his ribcage.

Q: Whatís the advantage of a blond over a redhead?
A: You can at least ignore a blond safely.

Q: What's the difference between this joke and sex?
A: Gingers will get this joke

Q: How do you get a redheadís mood to change?
A: Wait 10 seconds.

Q: Whatís the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender?
A: Thereís always a 50/50 chance the blender isnít on.

Q: What do you call a good looking man with a redhead?
A: A hostage.

Q: How do gingers reach orgasm?
A: All alone.

Q: What do you call a redhead with a blond on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: Why was the first football pitch sketched out on a redhead's chest?
A: They needed a level playing field.

Q: Why are redheads flat chested?
A: It makes it easier to read their T- shirts

Q: What do gingers miss most about a great party?
A: The invitation.

Q: What's worst than Eric Cartman making fun of Gingers on November 9th, 2005 in Season 9 Episode 11: Ginger Kids?
A: Being a Ginger Kid and having to go to school on November 10th, 2005!

Q: What do you call a redhead with large breasts?
A: A mutant.

Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: Redhead wonít accept a three and a half inch

Q: Whatís the difference between a redhead and a lawyer?
A: Thereís some things even a lawyer wonít do to people.

Q: How do you know when youíve satisfied a redhead?
A: She unties you

Q: When do you call a Ginger sexy?
A: If she's a brunette named Ginger.

Q: Why don't gingers visit Pamplona, Spain in July?
A: Running of the Bulls

Q: What do you call a ginger at a party?
A: Unwelcome.

Q: What do redheads and McDonaldís have in common?
A: Youíve never had it so good and so fast.

Q: What do you call a ginger prostitute?
A: Orange pay as you go

Q: What do you call an attractive male with a Ginger lady?
A: a gigolo.

Q: What do extinct dinosaurs and Gingers have in common?
A: Not enough

Q: What do you get when you mix Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together?
A: A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q: Whatís safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A: The piranha. They only attack in schools.

Q: Why arenít there any more redhead jokes?
A: Someone told them to a redhead.

Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A: Say something like "Iím one of those males who love redheads... jokes."

Q: What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A: Normal

Q: Why are gingers like guns?
A: Keep one around long enough, and you re goin to want to shoot it.

Q: Why is it called the Virgin Islands?
A: Only Gingers live there!

Q: Why did God invent colour blindness?
A: So someone will fancy the ginger kids.

Q: What do you call a soldier with a smile on his face and a piece of red hair between his two front teeth?
A: A GLAD-HE-ATE-HER

Q: What's the difference between a dead possum on the road and a dead ginger?
A: The possum was probably on its way to meet friends!

Q: What do you call a redhead who Masterbates more than twice a day?
A: A Terrorwrist

Q: What kind of beds do Gingers sleep on?
A: Temper-pedics.

Q: What do you call a Ginger in a Porn film?
A: Cameraman.

Q: Whats the difference between a terrorist and a ginger?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist!

Q: What's the best thing about being Ginger?
A: You know you weren't adopted.

Q: Why do gingers burn when they go out in the sun?
A: Natural selection.

Q: What's the difference between a shoe and a ginger?
A: A shoe has a soul.

Q: Whatís the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender?
A: Thereís always a 50/50 chance the blender isnít on.

Q: How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
A: Thereís a hammer embedded in the monitor

Q: What's the only thing redheads drink?
A: Ginger Ale.

Q: How do Gingers do a high-five?
A: Clap.

Q: How do you start an argument with a redhead?
A: Say something.

Q: How do you know your adopted?
A: When your the only ginger in the family.

Q: How does a ginger answer her phone on a Saturday night?
A: Wrong number.

Q: What do you call a ginger kid eating a carrot?
A: Cannibalism

Q: How do you cure a ginger?
A: Chemotherapy.

Q: What do you call a ginger whose phone rings on a Saturday night?
A: Shocked.

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic KKK member?
A: He went around killing gingers.

Q: What's the differences between Micheal Jackson and a Ginger?
A: Micheal Jackson actually had sex

Q: How do you get a redheadís mood to change?
A: Wait 10 seconds

I dumped my girlfriend after finding out how much she hated gingers.
Not nearly enough

I saved four gingers from drowning in a lake!
I saved it as a JPEG.

A boy walks up to a ginger and the boy asks
"How does it feel to be the Wendy's symbol?"
"You know what I don't really care just go get me a small frosty."

One Liners

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face and stole his lunch money

S.W.A.G. (Sex With A Ginger)

If a red head guy works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?

If a dementor's kiss steals your soul, what has Ron Weasley got to worry about?

Freckles give a Ginger it's powers.

If someone tells you a secret and says not to tell a soul, can you tell a ginger?

There's always that one ginger that claims to be strawberry blonde.

You say "tall redhead". I say "gingeraffe". They're basically the same thing.

Want to survive a horror movie? Be a ginger. You can't die if you don't have a soul.

I'm a ginger and this crazy. But here's my sunscreen, I use it daily.

You can't have a soul mate if you don't have a soul.

Gingers are a lot like anal sex. They are both a pain in the ass.

Went to a ginger convention, not a soul showed up.

How weird, Ariel (Little Mermaid) is a ginger and had a soul. She could have been the first, but she sold it though

If Monday were a person, it would be a ginger.

A tan redhead is like a smart blonde. We all know you're faking it.

You're just jealous that my hair color can be found in rainbows and yours can only be found in the dirt.

Lindsay Lohan was arrested again. I'd say send her to Azkaban except the dementors will have no affect on her...she's a ginger.

You're a ginger therefore your opinion is invalid.

Notice how in Harry Potter the dementors never go for Ron.

My phone just autocorrected "ginger" to "soulless".

If you're not dating a redhead, raise your hand. If you are, raise your standards.

That unexpected awkwardness when a ginger speaks without permission

Crying

I was shopping today, in the local Sams Club, when I heard a member of staff crying, quite loudly.

When I saw the member of staff, I realised what all the commotion was about, and I don't blame him.

I'd cry too if I was ginger.

Birth Control

So I was recently reading that condoms are effective only 97% of the time and I thought that's not good enough.

So I tried getting my girlfriend to use the pill, this is apparently 98% effective.

So then I tried the female condom, and found that to be 99% effective.

But after all this I still strove for a method that is 100% effective.

So yesterday I dyed my hair ginger.

Magic Lamp
A ginger man finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. "Ah, hell," says the genie, "What do you want?"

The ginger says, "I want a huge mansion with a hundred rooms and twenty floors, all made of pure gold."

The genie looks at him and says, "don't be an idiot, do you have any idea how much gold that would take? That's impossible. Pick something else."

So the ginger says, "I want everyone to stop making fun of my hair colour."

The genie says, "So this mansion, you want suite bathrooms?"

Stepsisters

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Rich & Poor

A rich man and a poor man are both buying anniversary gifts for their wives.
"What are you getting your wife?" asks the poor man.
And the rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Marcedes."
"Why both?" asks the poor man.
And the rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Marcedes when she returns the ring."
And then the rich man asks the poor man "What are you getting your wife?"
And the poor man says "She's a ginger, i'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo. That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself."

Doctor Doctor

A Doctor goes into a hospital ward to see a pregnant lady, who has had terrible stomach cramps and fears for the unborn child...
"Well, my dear, there's good news and bad news. We've run some tests and the bad news is that your baby has ginger hair."
"Oh no!" she replies, "what's the good news?"
The Doctor replies, "it's dead."

Two Scousers
Two scousers are on holiday in Amsterdam and visit a brothel.
"Have you got a fat, ginger bird with no teeth, a heroin addiction and a minge like a vandalised bus seat?" they ask.
"You boys are really kinky," says the madam.
"Are we fuck!" they reply. "We're looking for our mum!"


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