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Reader discretion advised. Please do not read
on if you are under 16 and/or easily offended. These jokes are not meant to encourage bigotry.
Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Q: What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation?
A: Can I help you pack your shit?
Q: Why are gays happy that they have nutsacks
A: Because they use them as mudflaps.
Q: How do you fit three homosexuals on one barstool?
A: Turn it upside-down!
Q: What do gay kids get for Christmas?
A: Erection Sets.
Q: What do you call a homosexual dentist?
A: Tooth fairy
Q: Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
A: He was playing with too many strokes.
Q: What's the difference between a refridgerator and a fag?
A: The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!
Q: What do the rhabbis do with foreskin after a circumsicion?
A: Give it to the gays for chewing gum!
Q: What did one gay sperm say to another?
A: "How do we find an egg in all of this shit?"
Q. Hear about the new gay sitcom?
A. "Leave it, it's Beaver."
Q. Did you hear about the gay rabbit?
A. He found a hare up his ass.
Q: What does GAY stand for?
A: Got Aids Yet?
Q: What does AIDS stand for?
A: Arse Injected Death Sentance
Q. How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
A. The hero always gets his man in the end.
Q. How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A. All the good guys are hung.
Q. Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A. They can't get the laboratory mice to arse fuck.
Q: Why do gay men fake orgasms?
A: Because they will be in deep shit if they don't!
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS?
A: A pounding sensation in the ass.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar?
A: "Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
Q: How do you get a gay guy to fuck a woman?
A: Take a shit in her cunt!
Q: What did the 2 condoms walking down the street say?
A: Lets go into that gay bar and get shitfaced".
Q: How do you tell if your room-mate in college is queer?
A: If his dick tastes like shit!
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!
Q: What do you call a ship full of fags?
A: The navy!
Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-saur-ass
Q. Did you hear about the two homosexual judges?
A. They tried each other.
Q. Did you know 75% of the gay population were born that way?
A. The other 25% were sucked into it.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.
Q: What do gay men call hemorrhoids?
A: Speed bumps.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS!
Q: Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
A: They went outside to exchange blows.
Q. Did you hear about the gay truckers?
A. They exchanged loads.
Q. What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
A. Male fraud.
Q: Why was the gay embarrassed when he was caught blowing the well-hung black boy?
A: Because he was caught with a foot in his mouth.
Q: What's the motto of the Greek army?
A: Never leave your buddy's behind.
Q: Hear about the gay royal Canadian mounted cop?
A: He got so excited his first day on the Job he jumped on his whistle and blew his horse.
Q: What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair?
A: Roll AIDS.
Q: What do you call a gay midget?
A: A lowblow
How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
The hot dogs taste like shit.
Gay bar
A straight guy walks into a bar and a couple steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck," he says, "I really want a drink."
When the transvestite waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?"
The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."
The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called 'Nike,' for the slogan, 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers,' because 'It really Satisfies."
The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. The customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"
The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."
The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you call your penis?"
The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because 'Quality is Job 1.' " Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is 'Secret.' Now give me my beer."
The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?"
The customer says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"
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