Back to: Dirty Jokes
Honey In Your Face
While someone is asleep lightly drizzle honey or syrup on their face when they feel it they should smear it all over. Very sticky situation.
This is GREAT and works best in a crowded bar. Bet one of your friends that they can’t balance a glass of beer on the back of each hand (on a table of course). When the beers are balanced simply walk out! Well worth the cost…truth is no guy would waste two good beers.
Flooding Dorm Room
Okay, this is a funny prank. You take a garbage can and fill it about 3/4 way with water. You lean this up against a random dorm room. Knock on the door, run, and hide so you can see it from a distance. When the unsuspecting person opens the door the water will fall into their house flooding it. This is a really funny prank. But don’t get caught. Use Kool-Aid if you have the guts.
Use your cell phone to film yourself sucking the chocolate from chocolate peanuts and spit every peanut in a bowl (if you don’t want your friend to really eat these nasty ass peanuts, just give him regular peanuts). Now give the bowl of peanuts to your friends, when they’ve eaten half the bowl, show them the video! They are gonna be so Pissed!
Dilute sour candies (warheads, etc) in a small amount of water. Then soak your roommates toothbruth in it overnight. When he wakes up and brushes his teeth he will have one hell of a surprise. You can also use cayenne pepper or extremely hot chili peppers.
Stop Eating My Food
Maybe your roommate can't resist eating your food. Now it's time for payback!
Obtain a small hypodermic needle and syringe
Fill it with Habanero pepper extract or hot sauce.
Inject extract or sauce into your roommate’s fruit, vegetables, cakes, ice cream, and anything else you can find that’s edible.
Shampoo and Conditioner
Put hair removal cream in your roommates shampoo or conditioner. For better results mix in shampoo with the hair removal cream so the bad smell doesn't ruin the prank.
If someone upsets you, get a bit of dog crap, (the fresher the better) and stick it under their car door handle, so it can’t be seen, when they go to open the door they get a handful of sh*t.
Have a Quarter
You take a dime/quarter, or any coin with the roughed edges, trace the outside of the coin with a pencil so the edges have graphite on them, and then tell you friend they can have the quarter if they can roll it down the middle of their nose and catch it. Once they roll it down their nose, they will have a long black strip of lead down their face.
Get an ice tray and make a few ice cubes with bugs in it. Ask your friend if he wants a drink and put those ice cubes in the drink.
First, get some plastic wrap and put up the toilet seat.
Then, put the plastic wrap over the BOTTOM layer, so that the next time someone needs to go to the bathroom, they get a good surprise!
Get a half empty bottle of ketchup (any brand). Flip it upside down allowing ketchup to fill up the tip of the bottle. Then add two spoonfuls of baking soda and close the bottle. Serve hot dogs, french fries, or anything that requires ketchup and watch the ketchup explode out of the bottle when your friend tries to use it.
Does your University or College have a large fountain, then take two bottles of dish detergent add lots of green food coloring and put it strategically into the foutain. The fountain will ooze green bubbles. You can use school colors if you want.
Find a Rubber band (not a really thin one or a fat one) twist up the rubber band (more the merrier) twist until it is a tight coil when you pull the 2 sides, and then find a victim with long hair (shaggy is good). Pull the rubber band apart while still being coiled and then release it in their hair, this will make their hair scrunch up and hurt a lot in the process of trying to pull the rubber band out.
Find out what brand of TV your teacher uses for presentations or movies. Then purchase a universal remote and enter that particular brands code into the remote and let the fun begin.
If you are at a sleepover, grab some make-up and apply it like crazy. Make your face pale white, completely black, or other dark color. Add eye shadow to go on your eye-lid all the way to brow. Use bright red, black, or dark blue, lipstick and apply all over lips and beyond. Finally take RED blush and apply it in a perfect circle). You’ll look like an scary clown!
Shake a person WHILE SLEEPING with the light on and they’ll freak looking at your face! It is so funny! You’ll scare the crap out of your friend!
Wait until your friend is asleep. Then get a bowl full of water and stick their hand in it.
In the morning they should have a rude awakening when they find out that last night they wet the bed. Remember to do this at your friends house and not your own house.
For this funny prank take your friend’s drink, preferably a non fizzy drink, and load it with salt. For more fun challenge him to a chugging contest.
Bring some zip ties along with you to school, work, etc. When your friend isn\'t looking, zip tie their bag to a table or chair. Preferably one that is attached to the ground or very heavy.
Wait for a kid to fall asleep in class get some hot sauce (and I mean hot, hot sauce) and when they fall asleep put it in there mouth and lips and wait for them to wake up screaming, “Hot, hot, hot!”
Take a piece of paper, write a funny message, and put it on a chair (paper should be same color as the chair.) Put clear glue on the paper or double sided tape and someone will sit on it and be walking around school with paper on their butt.
Find a friend who uses a bubbly fruity colored body wash or shampoo. Find a similar color food dye and put it in their shampoo.
Hot Girl Class
Find a class that just has hot girls. Then super glue change to the ground outside the classroom. When the girls go to pick up the change you will get a nice view of their rear ends.
Find out your friends email address and enlist them in the communist party, request sensitve information from a government agency, sign them up for a newsletter to gay porn, etc.
If you have a skylight in your house. This is one of the great funny pranks to pull on your siblings and close friends.
Sometime when they’re watching T.V. or busy, put on dark clothes and a ski mask and climb onto their roof.
When they walk into the room with skylight make a loud noise and stare at them before quickly dodging out of the way and climbing off the roof.
I told my mom I was going to use her shower because mine was busted. I brought a bottled of ketchup with me and I sprayed the stuff everywhere, then I screamed bloody murder.
My mom came in and saw the “blood” everywhere and started gagging. Be warned you will likely get grounded.
When you get Junk Mail, if there's a self address Stamped envelope, put a Used Condom, or a String from a Used Tampon in that envelope and return it. Juice up the Condom and String before sending. If they're going to send you their shit, return it with yours.
Boys / Girls (optional). Go into a Gay bar. Put your X's number on the Bioys / Girls bathroom wall.
When you're in a bathroom stall take a milk chocolate candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out.
Get two ketchup packets (Fast Food, etc), roll them up so they are about to explode.
Using a pin, poke a hole in each one near the exposed end seam on the outer sides.
Place them going in opposite directions under the toilet seat and on the toilet bowl.
Now you have a ketchup pack that will squirt in two directions at once.
The heavier the victim the funnier it will be when they sit down to take a crap!
Put pop rocks in your friends cat litter and watch his cat shriek with every piss. Pee will go everywhere.
When you get Junk Mail, let them know how it feels. Waste there time.
If the letter has a Returned Stamp Envelope, put a used Rubber all saturated in it. FEMALES, juice up a string from a used Tampon, smash it as good As possible and put it in that envelope. OR, Pee, or Bleed on the returned paper paper you have to send back. After doing that a few times, I've not received a letter from that company.
***Caution you might get suspended or arrested by carrying out some of these pranks***
Get some really hot peppers, Cut them up, Smear pepper juice all over the door knobs in the school. Watch victims rub their eyes and make it worse.
Many schools have a graffiti rock that people can tag when the win games, or just for school spirit. Find your rival schools rock, get a friend with a truck, chain the rock to it and block the entrance road to school with the rock. Tag it with your colors from another school if you don't want to get caught.
Cement Doors Shut
Get some quick drying cement. Find all the entrance doors that open outward. Cement the bottom of the doors shut.
Find the busiest hallway in your school. (I mean when the bell rings for the end of the class everyone is neck in neck in this hallway). Strategically super glue dimes to the floor. (Dimes are thin and hard to get). Watch as chaos ensues.
Go in early to school and put iching powder on all the toilet rolls.
Pulling the Fire Alarm
Find a way to get tear gas or an excessive amount of pepper spray. Fill the most likely emergency exit with this pepper spray or tear gas and pull the fire alarm. You can also use stink bomb fireworks.
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