A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
A man with 8 children is traveling by train.
A lady asked: "Are they your children?"
Man: "No Madam! Actually I am the owner of a condom company and they are the complaints of my customers."
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom?
One you go in the other you come in!
How can you recycle a condom?
Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
A shopping man discovers a new brand of condoms called "Olympic Condoms".
Interested in trying them out, he buys a box.
When he gets home, he tells his wife about his purchase.
"Olympic condoms?" she says "And what is special about them?"
He replies "They come in three colors Gold, Silver and Bronze."
And what color are you going to wear tonight? his wife asks
"Gold, of course" the husband says proudly How about you use the Silver one? It would be nice for once if you finished second.