Q: What do toys and boobs have in common?
A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them!
Q: What did saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: "If we don't get some support here people are going to think were nuts."
Q: What kind of bees produce milk?
A: Boobies!
Q: Why did God give women breasts?
A: So men would take to them!
Q: What did the ghost say to the hornets?
A: BOO bees.
Q: Why are redheads flat chested?
A: It makes it easier to read their T- shirts
Q: What do you call a redhead with large breasts?
A: A mutant.
Q: How are a blonde's breasts and a pad alike?
A: Niether are recomended for the beach and both come in different absorbency levels.
Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
A: Her navel.
Q: What's blue and has 100 nipples?
A: The dumpster at the cancer clinic.
Q: What do you call that patch of hair between an old ladys tits?
A: Her snatch.
Q: What does Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman have in common?
A: If you take away the legs and the breast you're left with a smelly greasy box?
Q: When is the last time most overweight men have touched a breast?
A: In a KFC bucket
Young Reporter
A young reporter was having trouble finishing her byline.
The editor specifically told her they can't print the words breast or boobs.
The young reporter thought long and hard.
Finally he handed the Editor the following report.
"Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( . )( . )"
Boob Size Grades
A ---> Almost Boobs
B ---> Barely there.
C ---> Can't Complain!
D ---> Damn!
DD ---> Double damn!
E ---> Enormous!
F ---> Fake
G ---> Get a reduction!
Drunk Blonde
A drunk blonde woman was sitting at a bar says to the barman, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn."
The barman mixes her drink and puts in down in front of her.
A few minutes later, she calls him over and says, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn."
He rolls his eyes but mixes her drink anyway and sets it down in front of her.
A few minutes later, she waves him over again and says, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn."
The barman looks her up and down and says, "First off, it's bartender, not barfender. Second off, it's martini, not marhini. And third, you don't have heartburn, your boob is in the ashtray."
Kinds of Boobs
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'. 'Onions?' 'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
Elephant & Camel
An elephant asked a camel,"Why are your breasts on your back?"
"Well," says the camel, "I think that's a strange question from somebody whose wiener is on his face.
Breast Stroke
A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the Huron River Breast Stroke Championships.
The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant.
Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her.
They embraced the young girl as she came ashore.
After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, "I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms."
Boob IM Icons
Perfect Boobs (o)(o)
Fake Boobs ( + )( + )
Perky Boobs (*)(*)
Big Nipple Boobs (@)(@)
A Cups o o
Wonder Bra Boobs (oYo)
Lopsided Boobs (o)(O)
Grandma Boobs \ o /\ o /
If You Could
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow".
Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens".
She turns to him smiles,grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother"
Forehead
John is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It"s been flickering for weeks now".
He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the lights now?
Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead? I don"t think so".
Fine, then the wife asks, "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won"t close right "
To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Kenmore written on my forehead? I don"t think so".
"Fine", she says "then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break "
"I"m not a carpenter and I don"t want to fix steps". He says, "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don"t think so I"ve had enough of you. I"m going to the bar!"
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home As he walks into the house, he notices that the steps are already fixed.
As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working.
As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.
"Honey", he asks, "How did all this get fixed?"
She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried." Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.
He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either give him a titty fuck or bake a cake".
He said, "So what kind of cake did you bake?"
She replied, "Hellooooo.. Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead? I don"t think so!"
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