The Monkey Joke
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while
he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey
grabs
some
olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and
eats
them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard
balls,
sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow
swallows
it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey
just
did?"
The guy says "No, what?"
He just ate the cue ball off my pool table--whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything
in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and
stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.
He
orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While
the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry
on
the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats
it.
The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No,
what?" replies
the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out,
and
ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats
everything
in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures
everything first.