A man is walking around the streets of New York one day when he spies an old
friend of his from college. "Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How
have you been?"
"Well," Boris replies. "I am the piccolo player for the International
"Spectacular!" the man replies.
"It is not what you might think, my friend. We play for the king of England, and
he loves the music. He says 'Fill the instruments with gold!' and they fill the
tuba with gold and they fill the trombone with gold, and me with the goddamn
"We play for the queen of France, and she loves the music. She says 'Fill the
instruments with silver!' and they fill the tuba with silver and they fill the
trombone with silver, and me with the goddamn piccolo."
"Then we play for the czar of Russia, and he hates the music. He says 'Shove the
instruments up their asses!' and the tuba doesn't fit and the trombone doesn't
fit. AND ME WITH THE GODDAMN PICCOLO!"