Short Willie Nelson Jokes
Q: What's more shocking than Willie Nelson being issued a citation for marijuana found on his tour bus?
A: Finding ice cream in Roseanne Barr's fridge
Q: What kind of tour bus does Willie Nelson and his band travel in?
A: A Cannabus
Q: What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?
A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
Q: Did you hear the news that Willie Nelson died last night?
A: Yeah I heard he was hit by a car, he was playing On the Road Again!
Q: How do you know Willie Nelson is a true stoner?
A: His bong gets washed more than his dishes!
Q: What do you call Willie Nelson with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.
Willie Nelson Bar Jokes
Theres is flea, that just hates his life.
One day he goes to the flea master and says to him "I am miserable, will you please put me somewhere where I am happy."
The flea master thinks and says, "I have somewhere I can put you." I will put you up on a horses hind, you'll really love it there."
So the master puts the flea up on the hind of the horse.
The next day the flea calls the master again and says "You have to get me out of here. This horse is killing me with his tail"
The master says "I have another place I can put you. I will put you up high on an old country singers beard named Willie Nelson. You'll really love it there."
The next day the flea tells the master again "You have to get me out of here, this pot smoking guy is killing me"
The master says "I have one more place I will put you and I dont want to hear another word out of you."
"I will put you on young Taylor Swift's snatch." The master again tell the flea "You really love it there."
So the master picks the flea up and place him onto Taylor Swift's snatch.
The next day the flea calls the flea master , the masters says "I told you I didnt want to hear from you again, to leave me alone."
The flea says "But master you dont understand, I'm back in Willie Nelson beard."