Meghan Markle once asked the queen "What's the secret of a long life?"
To which the queen replied "Wear a seat belt and don't piss me off!
What bands played at Meghan Markle's nuptials?
Nine Inch Veils and Wedding Train.
What happened after Meghan Markle spent some dollars on her honeymoon?
Prince Harry gave her a royal pounding.
What will happen if Meghan Markle ever becomes Queen?
Men will be coming into some money!
If Meghan Markle farts, is it a noble gas?
What is Englands new favorite TV show?
Sussex in the City.
What are all men looking forward to after Harry & Meghan's marriage?
Licking the backside of Meghan Markle's stamp!
What wedding present do most Englishmen give Harry & Meghan?
20% of their earnings for the past 5 years!
What did Prince Harry say after being accused of marrying a commoner?
I don't need commanding, I would "commoner" any day!
What will Prince Harry's children be drinking?
How did Meghan Markle get a prince to fall in love with her?
She wore a raspberry beret.
Why is the Royal Mail looking forward to putting Meghan Markle on stamps?
Because Englishmen won't mind licking her backside!
How is Prince Harry getting ready for married life?
By saving the princess in Mario Kart!
What is Meghan Markle's favorite movie?
Why couldn't Rachel Zane and her husband go to the beach?
They forgot their swimming SUITS.
Why shouldn't the world go mad for the royal pair?
It's not all about the tits!
The paparazzi offered Meghan Markle a briefcase full of money in exchange for some topless pics.
They said "Deal Or No Deal?"
What did Rachel Zane name her daughter?
Why should Meghan Markle be on coins?
So men can pound her!
How will Meghan Markle know her marriage is over?
Harry will say, "Honey, let's take different cars tonight."
What's the difference between Chelsea FC and Meghan Markle?
Chelsea aren't tight at the back.
Why doesn't Meghan Markle go to Starbucks anymore?
They don't serve royal-tea.
What did Meghan Markle say to Katy Perry?
I kissed an Earl and I liked it.
Prince Harry is 100% royal, but Meghan Markle is 0% royal.
This means their son will be the half-blood Prince.
That Meghan Markle is a bit of a hottie, and she's got a cracking set of air bags on her.
They should come in handy in a few years time.
Prince Harry: You know it's a proven fact that women talk twice as much as men!
Meghan Markle: That's because we have to repeat everything we tell our husbands!
Prince Harry: What?
Meghan Markle finally decided to get rid of all her dollars and went to a currency exchange.
The clerk told Meghan she had 200 pounds on her and Meghan immediately slapped the clerk across the face.
Apparently there was mass confusion.
Dear Duchess of Sussex,
If you ever have a girl, please name it Princess Leia.
Star Wars fanboys.