Lord Of The Ring Jokes


What do you call a hobbit party?
A little get together.

Why don't you ask a hobbit for money?
Because they're always a little short.

What do you call a gangster hobbit?
Yolo Swaggins.

When do you kick a hobbit in the balls?
If he's standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice.

What do you call a hobbit that eats junk food?
Lord of the Onion Rings.

What do you call a chubby dwarf?
Low Fat.

Why can't you enter Sauron's lair?
Because there's always one Mordor.

Why are most hobbits good guys?
Because they don't look down on people.

Did you hear about the dwarf that overdosed on Viagra?
He's a little stiff now.

What do you call a Mexican that has been corrupted by the "one ring"?
Smiguel.

What do you call a hobbit eating at KFC?
Lord of the Wings.

Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?
Because he was the Ring-bearer!

Why shouldn't you piss off a dwarf?
Because he's got a short temper.

What do you call a movie about a gangster hobbit?
Yolo Swaggins and the Fellowship of the Bling.

Why happened after Pippin got drunk?
He began to feel Mary.

What do you need to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?
Tolkiens.

What do you call a movie about Lebron James in the NBA Finals?
The Loss of the Rings.

What do they call Gandalf at the local tavern?
The White Whizzer.

What do you call a kid who can't find his toy?
Lego-Loss.

Why did the hobbit go to McDonalds?
To get a second breakfast.

I crashed a midgets wedding recently, I didn't like him but I just wanted to see if he vanished after he put the ring on.

My teachers name is Gandalf, needless to say he didn't let me pass.

I would make another Lord Of the Rings joke, but all the good ones Aragorn.

Yo mama so ugly she has the breath of an Orc, the face of a Dwarf, and the feet of a Hobbit.

Yo momma so old she knew Gandalf before he had a beard.

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Hobbits!
Hobbits who?
Hobbits opening the door, it's freezing out here.

How many times does an elf laugh at a joke?
Once, when he hears it.
How many times does a hobbit laugh at a joke?
Twice, once when he hears it, once when he gets it.
How many times does a dwarf laugh at a joke?
Three times. Once when he hears it, once when it's explained to him, and once when he gets it.

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