How do you know when it's Lebron James' Birthday?
Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.
How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone?
It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!
What did Matisyahu say to Lebron James?
Your not the only king without a crown
Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar?
Lebron will only give you 3 quarters!
Why has BP contacted Lebron James about containing the Gulf Oil Spill?
Because they want him to clog the pipes with his EGO!
Why did Lebron James have a cancer scare earlier this season?
The Cavaliers almost signed Allen Iverson!
What is the difference between Saturn and LeBron?
Saturn has rings.
How Many points did Lebron James score against the Jazz?
James scored so much, Utah made him an honorary Mormon!
Why did Lebron James choose not to go to College?
Lebron likes to avoid the finals!
What's the difference between Tim Tebow and Lebron James?
Tim Tebow comes alive in the 4th quarter!
What is the formula for the perfect athlete?
Add 3 quarters of Lebron with 1 quarter of Tebow.
What is Webster's new definition of pointless?
LeBron James in the 4th quarter!
Why does Lebron James drive an automatic car?
He cant handle a clutch.
Why does Drew Carey want Lebron James to stay in Cleveland?
Because misery loves company!
What's worst than Lebron James hosting Saturday Night Live?
Lebron James supporting cast on the Cleveland Cavaliers!
What do you call the three superstars who decided to play together for the Miami Heat next season?
The Three Mi-Egos
After extracting a benign growth along his right jaw line what procedure is Lebron James looking to perform?
Extracting himself from the Cleveland Cavaliers!
What did Lebron James eat during his last breakfast in the city of Cleveland?
Eggs Benedict Arnold!
Despite Lebron James leaving for the Miami Heat why does Delonte West want to stay in Cleveland?
Lebron James' Mom!
Why did Lebron head down South?
Because his mother went West!
How does Lebron James know he has a fever?
When the number on the thermometer matches the number of people in his entourage!
Why did Lebron James & Chris Bosh decide to play for the Miami Heat?
The Mayor of South Beach recently declared all paternity tests invalid!
Why is Dwayne Wade (3 years at Marquette University) proof that basketball players should stay in school?
He recruited Lebron James (no-college) & Chris Bosh (1 year at Georgia Tech) to take less money and play second fiddle to him!
What does Lebron and his dad have in common?
They both leave when times get tough!
Why is Lebron James not happy about going down South?
Because his mom is heading West!
Why doesn't the apple fall far from the tree?
LeBron chokes in the playoffs, his mom chokes on Delonte!
How is your best friend like Lebron James?
They both woke up this morning without an NBA championship!
Why doesn't Lebron James shake the hands of the other team after a game?
Because they hurt so much from carrying his team all season long!
Why does Lebron's agent want him to play in the National Hockey League (NHL)?
Because they only have three periods.
LeBron James' girlfriend is pregnant with the couple's third child
This gives Lebron James the NBA record for most kids with the same woman!
What do you call three highly spirited all-stars playing for one team in South Beach?
An injury waiting to happen!
Why can't Lebron James write his Auto-Biography?
He's still stuck on the title!
Why isn't Lebron allowed around small children?
He considered a CHOKE Hazard!
Scientists discovered a new particle this week, which, due to its instability, vanishes within 12 minutes. They call it 1 LeBron.
LeBron James went to Miami but he should have went to Jared; he would have a ring by now!
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