Kim Kardashian Jokes


Q: What is Kim Kardashians definition of forever?
A: When the Reality TV check is cashed!

Kim Kardashian gave birth to North West.
Does that mean her vagina is the Northwest Passage?

Q: What record did Kim Kardashian recently break?
A: First woman to have an engagement ring with a bigger carat size than her IQ!

Q: What are basketball players doing during the NBA lockout?
A: Marrying & divorcing a Kardashian!

Q: Why would've Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries made a great team?
A: Kris is a forward and Kim is the center of attention!

Q: What kind of rings do you need to marry a Kardashian?
A: Engagement Ring
B: Wedding Ring
C: Suffe-Ring
D: Endu-Ring

Q: Why wasn't Kris Humphries the perfect husband?
A: He didn't keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open!

Q: You know what Legos and Kim Kardashian have in common?
A: They are both made out of plastic

Q: Why is Kim Kardashian going to marry a tennis player next?
A: Because love means nothing to them!

Q: What did Kim Kardashian learn about marriage?
A: It puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under her eyes!

Q: What does Kim Kardashian and my car have in common?
A: They both have junk in their trunks.

Q: Why don't the Kardashians like Santa Claus?
A: Cause everytime Santa sees them he keeps saying hoe hoe hoe!

Q: According to the police in Lima, Peru why are Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian sitting on gold mines?
A: Because human-fat trafficking rings are selling cellulite to European cosmetic labs for $60,000 a gallon.

Q: How big is Kim Kardashian's butt?
A1: When she were born, the doctor said "Congratulations! Twins!"
A2: It's so big that they still can't find the last chair she sat on.
A3: She put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
A4: She sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!
A5: When her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up!
A6: She has to iron her pants on the driveway!

Q: What was the movie "Superbad" originally about?
A: A heart-warming tale about Kim Kardashian's ass!

Q: How do you make Kim Kardashian's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Why shouldn't you feel bad for basketball player Kris Humphries?
A: He's on the rebound!

Q: Why did Reggie Bush want to break up with Kim Kardashian?
A: According to Kim's press conference it was her constant need to be in the spotlight.

Statement: Kim Kardashian ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
Punchline: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What does Kim Kardashian and door knobs have common?
A: Everyone gets a turn!

Q: What's longer than a Kim Kardashian wedding?
A: The trick or treat line outside Casey Anthonys house

Q: Why did marine treasure hunters have to retract claims about finding a large booty?
A: It was just Kim Kardashian skinny dipping!

Q: What does Kris and Kim Kardashians marriage prove?
A: That same sex couples have no right to destroy the sanctity of marriage!

Q: What did Kim Kardashian's right leg say to her left leg?
A: Nothing, they've never been together!!

Q: How hot is Kim Kardashian's ass?
A: So hot Kim had an air conditioner implanted into it!

Q: What did doctors discover after Kim K had her butt x-rayed?
A: A brain tumor!

Q: Why did Kim Kardashian marriage end so quickly?
A: She could not take another episode of shex in the shitty.

Did you hear that wedding guests who gave expensive gifts are suing Kim Kardashian?
They intend to file an Ass-Action lawsuit!

Q: Why shouldn't Kim be worried about Kris finding a "rebound" chick?
A: Anyone who has watched the Nets knows he's bad at rebounding!

Q: How does Kris Humphries hope to win Kim back?
A: By painting his dick black!

Chuck Norris once flicked a pregnant woman's stomach with his pinky. 9 Months later a beautiful baby girl was born with a severly swollen ass and severe brain damage. That baby girl grew up to be Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian said in a new interview that her next wedding will be on a private island with no TV cameras. Which raises a lot of questions, like, "If a Kardashian does something but there are no cameras, did it actually happen?"



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