Kennedy Jokes

Q. What does JFK Jr. miss most about Martha's Vineyard?
A. The runway.

Q. What was JFK Jr. drinking at the time of the crash?
A. Ocean Spray.

Q. How did JFK Jr. learn how to fly?
A. He took a crash course.

Q. What will it take to bring the Kennedy family back together?
A. One more mishap!

Q. Hear about Kennedy Airlines?
A. Their motto is "Your luggage will arrive before you do!"

Did you hear about Arby's new Martha's Vineyard Salad? It contains pieces of apples, cranberries and is covered with a robust rasberry vinegrette dressing. Don't forget to go New England and order a few shiney, pink, chunks of JFK Jr. brains.

Where can you find more information on JFK Jr?
The Dredge Report

Pierre Salinger says the left wing fell off.
Must be a right wing conspiracy.

People magazine just voted JFK Jr the sexiest man not alive.

What was the forecast at Martha's Vineyard?
Hazy, with widely scattered bodies and debris.

What was the temperature off of Martha's Vineyard?
Three below.

What was JFK Jr drinking just before the crash?
Ocean Spray.

What were JFK Jr's favorite movies?
Splash, Eyes Wide Shut, Waterworld, and Deep Impact

What do Kennedys' fear most?
Old age. Dying of natural causes.

Why was JFK Jr flying that night?
Teddy Kennedy offered him a lift.

What do most pilots agree about JFK Jr?
He would have nailed that landing on the third try.

How many Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb.
Know one knows. Kennedys don't last as long as ligh bulbs and are not as bright.

Why aren't there more JFK Jr jokes out there?
They just haven't surfaced yet.

Who was the prior owner of the Piper airplane?

Who built the airplane?
John Denver

What's the tragedy about this accident?
Teddy Kennedy wasn't along for the ride.

What was JFK Jr's last words?
"I said pull back the joystick, not pull out the joystick."

How does JFK Jr like his drinks?
Watered down

What did they say at South Park when they heard the news about JFK Jr?

What does JFK JR stand for?
Joins Father Kennedy, Jinx Returns

What about JFK Jr's future as a political leader?
Dead in the water.

Have you heard that the Franklin Mint will issue a JFK Jr Commemorative coin set?
It will be all halves and quarters.

What did the board of directors do at George Magazine when they heard JFK Jr had died?
They swore in Lyndon Baines Johnson, Jr as the new editor-in-chief.

Why did Maria Shriver marry Arnold Schwarzenegger?
To breed a bullet-proof, drown-proof Kennedy that could ski.

How do the Kennedys teach their children how to swim?
First you get out of the vehicle and float to the surface. JFK Jr did not know how to swim.

Did you hear that JFK Jr is laying in state?
The state of Massachusetts, the state of Rhode Island, and the state of Connecticut.

How do you find JFK Jr in the phone book?
Look under water.

How did they do JFK Jr's autopsy?
They pieced it together.

What did JFK Jr buy at Martha's Vineyard?
He bought the farm.

What was the headline in the National Enquirer after hearing about JFK Jr?

What's JFK Jr's favorite eating place?
Red Lobster

Why didn't Superman rescue JFK Jr?
He is still confined to a wheel chair.

Why is JFK Jr just like his dad?
Can't take a blow to the head very well.

What was the last thing JFK Jr did?
Wave goodbye.

What's the difference between a golfer and a Kennedy?
A golfer goes whack, then says fuck! A Kennedy says fuck, then whack!

Michael Kennedy and JFK Jr both did a lot in their lifetime and were dying to get into politics. I just don't know who had the greater impact.

At least Ethyl Kennedy doesn't have to shop for a black dress.

What's the new nickname of John John?
John Buoy. Bob.

Why didn't JFK Jr enter heaven?
He failed the entrance exam. Twice.

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