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Justin Bieber Jokes


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Justin Bieber Short Jokes

Justin Bieber told police in Miami he had consumed alcohol, smoked marijuana, and taken some prescription drugs.
Or what Toronto mayor Rob Ford calls, a "light Canadian snack."

Q: What's worse than finding a Justin Bieber CD in your boyfriend's bedroom?
A: Finding a box of tissues next to it.

Q: Whatís the difference between a water bottle and puberty?
A: A water bottle has already hit Justin Bieber.

Q: Why is Justin Bieber so pale?
A: Because theres no light in the closet!

Q: How do stories from Justin Biebers early childhood begin?
A: "A few months ago"

Scientists have discovered a disease that lowers your intelligence by 90%
Bieber Fever

Q: Why doesn't Justin Bieber eat bananas?
A: He can't find the zipper!

Q: How did Justin Bieber hurt his head?
A: He fell off a ladder trying to reach puberty!

Q: What does Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

Did you hear about Justin's cellmate new sextape?
Its called "Leave It In Bieber"

Q: What does Justin Bieber and the New Years crowd at Time Square have in common?
A: Theyíre both waiting for balls to drop!

Q: What will happen if you call Justin Bieber gay?
A: He will slap you with his man purse.

What do you call a Canadian girl who can't sing?
Justin Bieber.

Q: What is Justin Bieber's new hit single?
A: "If I were a Boy"

Q: Whatís the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ?
A: One of them has balls and it ainít Bieber.

Q: What do you call a girl with testitcles?
A: Justin Bieber

Q: Why is it sometimes alright to judge a book by its cover?
A: Sometimes it's named 'Justin Bieber', and you know its crap!

Q: Why is Justin Bieber like Ms. Pac-man!
A: Just a token and she's ready to swallow!

Q: How hard is puberty going to hit Justin Bieber?
A: Harder then Chris Brown hitting Rihanna!

I heard Justin Bieber has an 8 inch dick,
But itís in his ass and belongs to Usher.

Q: What does Justin Biebers asshole and his mouth have in common?
A: They both produce the same shit!

If someone could convince Justin Bieber to drive Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan off of a cliff, we could kill two birds with one stoner.

Q: Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar?
A: A Snickers bar has nuts!

Q: Why do Justin Biebers male friends nickname him "Shotgun"?
A: Give him a cock and he'll Blow!

Q: If Eminem is the King of Rap, what is Justin Bieber?
A: The Queen of Crap!

Q: What does Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?
A: They both want to be real boys.

Q: What is the biggest lie of 2011?
A: "Justin Bieber is the father of my Baby" - Mariah Yeater.

Q: What is Victoria's Secret?
A: (whispering) Justin Bieber is gay!

A teen girl walks into a medical clinic and tells the doctor she has "Bieber Fever"
Doctor: Nope it is Herpes!

How do you piss off Justin Bieber?
Tell him Santa Claus aint real.
How do you REALLY piss him off?
Punch him in the teeth & tell him the tooth fairy aint real!

One Direction. The reason we should've killed Justin Beiber before it layed eggs.

Justin Bieber Nicknames

Justins Beaver
JBiebz
Biebz
JB
Just Beaver
Justin Hermouth Beaver
Justin Heranus Beaver
Bieber Fever


Justin Bieber Bar Jokes

Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Daughter: Hey mom,I'm going to my room with my boyfriend.
Mom: Ok, don't do anything stupid.
(Boyfriend and Girlfriend enter the bedroom)
Daughter: Baby, baby, baby, OOOH!
(Mom run's into the bedroom)
Mom: What are you doing?!
Daughter: We are having sex!
Mom: Oh thank god, I thought you were listening to Justin Bieber

CSI

Boy is watching CSI and crying. His mom enters room.
Mom:Why are you crying son?
Son:Justin bieber got shot!
Mom:Dont worry its only on TV!
Son: Thats why I'm crying!

WTF

Two odd looking guys are sitting in a small cafe when a third guy decides to join them

They all get into a heated conversation about their physical attributes.

One says: I've got the smallest arm in the world!

Another says: I've got the smallest head in the world!

The last one says: I've got the smallest dick in the world!

The 3 guys decide to go to Guinness World Records office.

The first one goes in and returns happy: I've really got the smallest arm in the world!

The second returns happy too: I've really, got the smallest head of the world!

The last one returns angry and screams: WHO? THE FUCK IS? JUSTIN BIEBER?

Dont Take Justin Bieber To the Hood
OK there is two black bodyguards plus Justin Bieber heading to Brooklyn for Justin's show.
The two black bodyguards get out of the car wandering around like thugs and they make there own slang up to make people scared so they say "We are thugs don't come next to me if you do you'll become history"
And so after Walking around Justin says "Can I try it and the two black men say "If you got what it take's man"
And so he goes wandering around so he makes up his own slang and he say's "I'm white like Micheal jackson I am all hyped up on mountain yea Ni**a wacko"
As soon as you know it all he hears is pop pop bang bang.

Knock Me Out
(When starting to have sex)
Selena Gomez: Please fuc* me while I sleep instead.
Justin Bieber: Why?
Selena Gomez: So I don't have to be reminded of the shame of having a boyfriend with the worlds smallest dick.

Justin Bieber Facts

Justin Bieber can now drive a car, but he still uses a booster seat!

Justin Bieber dolls have no man parts, nor does Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber still has baby teeth

There is no light in the closet that is why Justin Bieber is so pale

Justin Bieber can't eat bananas because he cant find the zipper

Lady Gaga has Justin Biebers Balls

Justin Biebers nickname is Shotgun, because if you give him a cock he's ready to blow

Puberty will hit Justin Bieber one day. LOL just kidding it's rude to hit girls

Justin Bieber used to look cool, now he looks like Ellen the generous."

Cody Simpson and Justin Bieber once were in a studio together, by studio I mean a homosexual bathhouse in Jersey

Justin Bieber One Liners

Kurt Cobain killed himself one month after Justin Bieber was born. He knew.

Michael Jackson Died at 58, Whitney Houston at 48, John F. Kennedy at 38, Amy Winehouse at 28. How old is Justin Bieber again? 18 Right?

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