Q: How do you know if your a deadhead?
A: You studied five days for a drug test!
Q: If you see three flies in the bathroom, how do you know which one is the deadhead?
A: The one on the pot.
Q: How many deadheads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to twist it and one to light it.
Q: What do deadheads say when they run out of dope?
A: "What is this awful music?"
Q: How do you know when the deadheads are gonna leave?
A: The phone bill comes.
Q: How do you know when deadheads have been staying with you?
A: They're still there.
Q: Why do deadheads swirl their arms when they dance?
A: To keep the music out of their eyes.
Q: Where do you hide things from deadheads?
A: Under the soap.