Elton John Jokes

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
Princess Diana never became a queen of England

What's the similarity between Richard Hammond* & Elton John?
They both have skid marks on their helmet.

Did you hear about Elton John's new album featuring 'Candle in the Wind?
They decided not to call it 'Live in Paris'.

Why does Elton John want Queen Elizabeth to die
So he can be Britain's oldest Queen.

Why can't Elton John drive faster than 68mph?
Because at 69 he blows a rod.

What does Elton John get for Christmas?
Erection Sets.

What do you call a dentist that listens to Elton John?
The Tooth fairy

If Elton John was a horse what would he eat?

When Pavarotti died, the other two tenors thought they ought to find a replacement.
Elton John's name was suggested, but they ruled that out as they would be known as the Two Tenors and a Nine Bob Note.

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